C.H.U.D. Busters

Berkeley Recruiting Center Trashed (Again)

2009-03-20T12:02:00.000-07:00

The United States Marine Corps Officer Selection Office in downtown Berkeley came under attack once again Wednesday night when a group of vandals broke the building’s windows with sledgehammers and splashed them with red paint.

Officers at the recruiting center at 64 Shattuck Square were not able to say whether the incident was related to protests taking place throughout the rest of the country on the eve of the sixth anniversary of the Iraq war.

Berkeley Police Department spokesperson Officer Andrew Frankel said the police received a call at 8:54 p.m. Wednesday from an eyewitness who reported that three suspects were breaking the Marine Corps office’s plate-glass windows and splashing them with red paint.

Source: Moonbattery

NIMBY Types Upset with Air Force

2009-02-07T17:03:00.000-08:00

It appears some suburbanites in Phoenix are upset with the Air Force base (which has been there forever). A letter and response to Luke AFB:

The complaint

Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base:

Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 A.M, a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet.. Imagine our good fortune! Do the Tom Cruise-wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyn's early bird special?

Any response would be appreciated.

The response:

Regarding 'A wake-up call from Luke's jets' On June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four- ship fly by of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques. Capt Fresques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.

At 9 a.m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend. Based on the letter writer's recount of the fly by, and because of the jet noise, I'm sure you didn't hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son's flag on behalf of the President of the United States and all those veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured..

A four-ship fly by is a display of respect the Air Force gives to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.

The letter writer asks, 'Whom do we thank for the morning air show? The 56th Fighter Wing will make the call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.

Only 2 defining forces have ever offered to die for you ... Jesus Christ and the American Soldier. One died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Lt.. Col. Grant L. Rosensteel Jr.
USAF

Man Speaking in Tongues Says "The Hell With the Troops"

2009-01-19T14:43:00.000-08:00

This video was taken by famed C.H.U.D. Hunter, Jonn Lilyea, in Washington D.C. today. We are unsure what the gentleman is saying, but his sign speaks louder than words.

Angry Feminist Takes Out Frustrations on Military

2009-01-15T12:32:00.000-08:00

A Face Itching for Pie

Helen Benedict pens a ridiculous, unhinged rant against all-thing male and all-things military in the latest trash from Huffington Post (h/t VetVoice):

These factors certainly all contribute, but the reasons for veteran violence and suicide lie much deeper than these. They begin in the family backgrounds of the troops, and are exacerbated by the nature of military training, the misogyny in military culture, the type of war we are waging in Iraq, and the remorse, fury and self-loathing that comes from fighting a war one doesn't believe in. None of these factors tend to be much discussed in the press, but they add up to a recipe for veteran violence!

More lies from old-guard feminists about the "rape culture" inherent within military tradition. Most modern feminists realize that attacking all males is a losing battle, because men are still required to reproduce and keep civilization around. But these geezerly types still lurk. What's disturbing is that she is a professor of Journalism at Columbia, which may help to explain the media's negative stereotypes towards the military.

ACLU Files Suit On Behalf Westboro Baptist Church

2009-01-10T12:34:00.000-08:00

The ACLU is really scraping the bottom of the barrel by supporting the much-hated Westboro Baptist Church. From the Military Times:

A Westboro Baptist Church member has sued the city of St. Joseph over its ordinance banning protests at soldiers’ funerals.

The lawsuit, filed in U.S. District Court in Kansas City, asks a judge to declare the ordinance and its enforcement unconstitutional.

The American Civil Liberties Union of Eastern Missouri filed the suit on behalf of Shirley Phelps-Roper. She’s the daughter of Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Baptist Church founder Fred Phelps.

I'm sure giant picket signs at funerals about IEDs killing fag soldiers is just what the framers of the Constitution had in mind with the first amendment. More at Stop the ACLU.

UCSF Study Says Marines Are Degenerate Ass-Grabbers

2009-01-07T17:57:00.000-08:00

Seeing how UCSF is a public university, your tax dollars most likely paid for this trash. From the SF weekly:

Thanks to desperate recruiting methods required to staff those wars, the U.S. Marines may be turning military service into a male sexual fantasy land, where recruits are paid actual money to cohabitate with drunk, stoned, horny teenage girls.

UCSF scientists tested and surveyed 2,157 female U.S. Marine recruits -- out of 2,288 possible respondents -- with an average age of 19. Researchers found that the young women were more than twice as likely as non-military young women to be infected with venereal diseases. And the recruits were prone to engage in behaviors likely to get them sick again.

Who would've thought that young people would like booze and hooking up? It should be noted that San Francisco is the last city in America that should be criticizing "unscrupulous" behavior.

Milbloggers Outraged at The Onion

2008-12-11T18:22:00.000-08:00

Because of this video, some of the bigger bloggers are furious that The Onion would satirize wounded soldiers.
Cassandra of Villainous Company weighs in:

Coming from anyone else, the implication that American soldiers are just hapless dupes might be considered patronizing, even insulting in light of the enormous bravery, willpower and determination needed to volunteer to return to a combat zone after being seriously wounded.

Fortunately, since this is the Onion we can dismiss such obviously unfounded criticisms as being the product of an insufficiently nuanced world view.

Ouch, that's gonna leave a mark. At the worst it's offensive, and at the best it is horrendously unfunny. The Onion should stick to making fun of stoners.

Meth Addict Steals Veteran Memorial Statue for Quick Fix

2008-12-06T12:14:00.000-08:00

Mug Shot of Meth-Mouthed Lowlife

Vincent J McManus most likely needed money for drugs, so he decided that stealing a memorial statues in New Jersey would be a quick means to meet this end. Criminals have been known to steal scrap metal from the military to feed their drug habits, but he didn't think the statue would be made out of concrete. From NorthJersey.com (h/t GP):

A borough man has been accused of trying to steal a statue erected in honor of fallen Marine Sgt. Matthew Fenton, a borough resident killed in Iraq in 2006, police said.

The suspect, Vincent J. McManus, told police he took the statue to sell for scrap metal — only to discover later that it was made of glazed concrete, police said.

The statue of a soldier was recovered yesterday in McManus’ back yard, where it was hidden under a garbage can, Lt. Frank Novak said. The only damage is a broken finger, he added.

How low can you get?

"Send McCain Back to his Cage at the Hanoi Hilton"

2008-11-18T14:10:00.000-08:00

Stay Classy, IVAW. TSO and David M have the details on this piece of CHUD shit.

Wealthy C.H.U.D. Lowlife Charged by SEC with Insider Trading

2008-11-17T16:25:00.000-08:00

Mark Cuban Prays That He Doesn't Get Raped in Prison

Mark Cuban, wealthy gadabout and owner of the Dallas Mavericks, has been charged with insider training by the Securities and Exchange Commission. Mark Cuban bankrolled the failed movie Redacted, which portrayed soldiers as rapists and monsters, and it was a colossal dud at the box office. He also had this to say about the movie at Blog World Expo 2007 [Vox Veterana]:

“The pictures are what will stop the war. One only hopes that these images will get the public incensed enough to motivate their Congressmen to vote against this war," he said.” The movie was financed by a company of Cuban’s and is thus directly supported by Cuban. Cuban described the movie in his speech at Blogworld by saying “Soldiers are bored 99% of the time, this film is about what they do with the other 1%.”

Obviously, soldiers do not indiscriminately kill, but apparently rich dickheads like Cuban find it in their heart to manipulate the market to their advantage when they are "not bored". What goes around really comes around, buddy.

CHUDs Nabbed in France

2008-11-13T21:12:00.000-08:00

Remember the lowlifes that bombed the infamous NYC recruiting station in Times Square. It looks like they may have been caught. From the Telegraph:

French anti-terrorist police are holding 10 alleged members of a violent anarchist movement suspected of sabotaging power cables on high speed TGV train lines.

But it now transpires that the alleged culprits were netted thanks to information from the FBI, which allegedly linked two of them to the home-made bomb attack on an army recruitment centre in New York's Times Square in March.

Here's hoping they die of Syphilis in prison.

The View Slams Military Accomplishments in Iraq on Veterans Day

2008-11-11T15:39:00.000-08:00

Joy Behar CHUDs out in style

One of the crazies on The View, for some reason, decided that Veterans Day was an appropriate time to bash the Iraq War calling it "terrible". To their credit, this wasn't much different than the response from some on Memorial Day. Like a late-night game of limbo, a very low bar has been set for mainstream culture.

(h/t Hot Air)

Protesting No Longer Relevant

2008-11-08T13:32:00.000-08:00

All that was at the West Chester weekly protests, which Skye has been covering for months, was a couple of signs praising our new President Elect. If the protests were just about getting Bush and the Republicans out of office, why were protesters so eager to drag our troops through the mud the last 8 years?

Heroic Seattle Mom Fights to End Occupation of Military Recruiters

2008-10-29T16:44:00.000-07:00

With their scary uniforms and vehicles that may contain pamphlets with pictures of instruments of wars, it's no wonder that Seattle would want to be isolated from the reality of the modern Department of Defense. This Mom is no exception. From The Stranger:

"[The parks department had] been advertising a teen-appreciation day [with] basketball, swimming, a DJ, and a barbecue," Barker says. She says the woman who alerted her to the recruiters' presence "pulled up with her kids and saw two guys in army fatigues in a black Hummer. She wanted them to go away and they wouldn't." Barker says she's also heard of recruiters showing up to events with climbing walls and video games.

Apparently public property is acceptable for everyone except the military, perhaps because they aren't viewed as the public. Or perhaps because voluntary military service is a burden to over-worried mothers who can't stand to see the sight of military recruiters. Maybe it's time we bring back the draft.

Bonus:Funny letter to the editor regarding this subject. David E. from Tacoma is less than pleased with "commie-hippie" types invading the Puget Sound.

When Deploying to Iraq is AWOL in Campaign Season

2008-10-27T17:45:00.000-07:00

Josh Mandel is the young-looking state rep from Ohio, who has also done two tours in Iraq with the Marine Corps. The number of Iraq/A-stan vets in positions of political power is so small currently, that Fox News once dide a two-and-a-half minute special on him. Trial lawyers and corruption are not unusual for politics, however, so his opponents wife in his district, Barbara Belovich, decided to play up the weirdness of having a military background as opposed to years prosecuting slip and fall accidents. From Townhall:

Of all the factors he weighed, Mr. Mandel says political concerns were not among them. Now he has been forced to deal with the politics of that decision. The opponent in his tough re-election fight, trial attorney Bob Belovich, is attacking Mr. Mandel’s service, arguing that he abandoned voters. Mr. Belovich’s wife, Barbara, acknowledged in an interview for this column that she has told voters that Mr. Mandel “went AWOL” (a military term for desertion) by fighting in Iraq.

Even Mr. Mandel’s motives for serving in Iraq are being questioned. Mrs. Belovich claimed in an interview with this columnist that Mandel “put his personal ambitions ahead of his constituents.” Asked why anyone would enter a war zone out of “personal ambition,” Barbara Belovich replied curtly, “Certainly he wasn’t serving our needs.”

Audio of CHUDs in their backroom dealings are here. Bob Belovich then suggested the only reason he won the 2006 election was because he had a Jewish name. While the election is in doubt, Josh Mandel sure has some real winners running against him.

McCain Critic Not Impressed With Subsequent CHUD Attacks

2008-10-22T10:06:00.000-07:00

Matt Welch is a well-respected journalist who currently writes for Reason and the LA Times, and he wrote a highly critical book about McCain before it was cool to do so this election cycle. However, he recently stated that McCain truly is a military hero for suffering during his stay at the Hanoi Hilton. When he made this statement, the flurry of CHUD-related nasty emails in his inbox reached unprecedented levels. From Reason:

Does being a POW make you a war hero? I think not - obviously it is hella-bad times, but that does not in itself make you a "hero." I pray you do not breed or vote...do you feel then that the detainees iwho have been in Guantanamo or rendered ("rendition') to countries more suitable for intense interrogation are heroric and worthy of being considered for the highest office in this land?

Luckily this election will be over in a couple of weeks and hopefully this sort of thing might go by the wayside, but somehow that seems like a too optimistic assessment.

More Freakin' Out About the Blue Angels

2008-10-20T19:58:00.000-07:00

Van Halen and Navy Jets...Why is that Not Awesome?

The conspiracy kooks at Lew Rockwell continue to rail against the "fascist" military. This time it has to do with the Blue Angels threatening to conduct bombing runs on the Bay Area. From Lew Rockwell:

To characterize this air show as a form of entertainment is to misjudge its intended purpose. Like the annual May Day military parades conducted by the Soviet government, the objective of this exercise was to remind people of the disproportion of power that the state exercises over them. Should you harbor any sentiments of disobedience to state authority, this is what government officials have at their disposal to bring you back into line. At a time when it became known that a large body of American troops had been returned from Iraq to be deployed in American cities, the presence of such Navy hardware added to the intimidation. President Bush’s threat to members of Congress – as reported by one congressman – to impose martial law should they fail to pass the infamous corporate "bailout" measure, showed the effectiveness of menacing people with violence.

If the purpose of the military was to quash dissenters and malcontents, SF would have been nuked many, many years ago. This conspiracy-mongering schtick is wearing incredibly thin over at Crazy Lew's.

Zombie Has Pics of Bay Area CHUDs in Action

2008-10-20T19:51:00.000-07:00

Bring your clean suit and hippie repellent when checking out these asshats [Zombietime].

Geezer Baby Boomers Continue to Slam the Military After all these Years

2008-10-20T19:35:00.000-07:00

Since hawking lugies on returning Vietnam vets in a fit of self-righteous indignation wasn't enough, some Baby Boomers continue to say nasty things about our Armed Forces. From Aging Hipsters (which Wek has referred implied as the worst blog of all time):

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need more troops for some insane war that makes you poorer and the rich richer, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up eventually, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire.

Insinuations that troops are only from the Red States is hurtful and inaccurate as it seeks to polarize our society. It should also be mentioned that Flower Power wouldn't make a very good defense policy in Nuevo California either, whatever the hell that's supposed to be.

Militray Recruiting Station Trashed Because of Columbus for Some Reason

2008-10-16T20:42:00.000-07:00

CHUDs look for any excuse they can to wreak havoc against our beloved military. Christopher Columbus, who came to the new world several hundred years before our Armed Forces were formed, provided a convenient excuse to vandalize a recruiting station. From Santa Cruz Indymedia:

On the night after Columbus Day 2008 we vandalized eleven windows at the Air Force, Army, Navy, and Marine Recruiting Center in Santa Cruz County with a paint and acid mix.
The U.S. government has always waged a war of extermination against land-based ways of life in order to impose capitalist exploitation of the earth and its peoples.

For 516 years they and their predecessors have been met with resistance. Neither law enforcement nor the military can ever defeat our struggle.

To the land and all indigenous peoples devestated by the U.S. government: we apologize for leaving this building standing.

Wasn't Columbus Day a school night? Sometimes CHUDs have no respect for their parents who are paying for them to go to college.

(h/t NavyCS)

Navy Blue Angels Terrorize Bay Area, Caused 9/11

2008-10-16T20:32:00.000-07:00

Blue Angels Now Flying Commercial Aircraft

While the Blue Angels have been slammed in the past on the West coast, the Bay Area offers up a whole new level of CHUDitude. From Indybay:

On October 9, 2008, from 1 p.m. to 5 p.m., the Navy’s Blue Death terrorized the over 1 million people in San Francisco with their horrifying noise and deadly, illegal low flights over heavily populated San Francisco wasting tax dollars and oil in their military recruiting show to celebrate Columbus Genocide Weekend, 3 weeks before election day.

These terrorists flights are perpetrated by the same military that carried out the 9/11 Inside Job at the behest of the ruling class and its spokespeople, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and Giuliani.

It is wise to remember the South Park episode about 9/11 conspiracies. It was pissed off Muslims, dumbass.

(h/t NavyCS)

Cannon Fodder for Oil

2008-10-16T20:20:00.000-07:00

The term "cannon fodder" gets thrown out quite a bit in the blogosphere, often to refer to people foolishly enlisting in the Armed Forces in a time of war. Unfortunately, these comments are usually left off an article designed to highlight inter-service support between Navy mothers. Chetdude leaves his thoughts:

More propaganda for the Empire's War Machine.

It makes me sick to see tax dollars being p*ssed away for the whole spectrum of disgusting pro-war BS!

I guess I should look on the bright side though. The latest push to con parents into sending their kids off to be cannon fodder for big oil must mean that the kids are getting smarter.

Yippee!

If Chet Dude is seeking to impress the ladies online, he should realize that women often judge a man based on how he treats his mother. On an article designed specifically to appeal to Moms with such a CHUD comment, that would put Chet Dude as likely to attract women as Disco Stu.

(h/t Code Monkey)

McCain Attacks Obama For Being a CHUD

2008-10-06T17:33:00.000-07:00

While Barack's comment was taken out of context (full story here), it's not something you would want to have pinned on you as a soundbite this close to the election. No one wants to be a C.H.U.D.

When Vietnam Service Becomes a Big Joke on the Campaign Trail

2008-10-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

Rolling Stone's, Tim Dickinson, writes a terrible, lengthy article about former Naval officer John McCain. Instead of criticizing McCain's campaign platform, he chooses to belittle his time as a P.O.W. and suggests that he was cowardly during the devastating USS Forrestal fire. You know it was coming, and CHUD Busters is a bit surprised that partisan operatives in major media outlets took so long to begin sinking this low in an election year. If only Hunter S. Thompson were still alive, who was once a service member, this type of bullshit wouldn't happen.

Green Party Loser Thinks Natl Guard Killed 5,000 in New Orleans

2008-10-01T21:19:00.000-07:00

(h/t Hot Air)

Despite significant press releases and news coverage about the heroic National Guard response to the tragedy of Hurricane Katrina, Green Party presidential candidate, Cynthia McKinney, has chosen to bring the crazy about how she remembered events. Citing the reliable source of a friend's son's recollection, she states that 5000 stiffs with bullet wounds in the head have been processed into some super secret "Pentagon Computer". The bodies were dumped into the swamp, presumably to be delicious snacks for Republican alligators. This may conjure up some creepy New World Order fantasies about shock troops rounding up innocent civilians for owning a copy of Loose Change, but it is simply not true and therefore a lame attempt at a C.H.U.D. attack.

CHUD Busters thought it wasn't going to get much wackier than the Green Party candidadate in the WA gubernatorial race, but Cynthia McKinney has beaten him to it.

Another Vet Cemetery Trashed

2008-10-01T21:05:00.000-07:00

Meth May Turn You Into a C.H.U.D.

The Willamette National Cemetery in Oregon, which has thousands of veterans buried there, has been vandalized for some scrap metal as reported by Flag Gazer at VA Joe:

This beautiful place has suddenly become yet another Military Cemetery defiled by the the greedy and the disrespectful. Recently and on three different occassions, vandals, called ‘metal thieves’ by law enforcement, went into the cemetery and stripped the copper gutters, downspouts and roofing from the shelters used during burials. Additionally, brass name plates and metal urns have been stolen.

This is consistent with low-life meth addict behavior of scrounging up some spare metal to sell for a couple of lousy bucks. Unfortunately, disrespect of deceased veterans is no big deal when it's time to tweak out. At least in California, the meth addicts hassle active-duty Marines, who can fight back.

Obama Gets Shunned at Columbia University When Discussing ROTC

2008-09-30T23:32:00.000-07:00

McCain got Booed, Obama Didn't Get Much Better

Recently, presidential candidates Obama and McCain held a 9/11 forum at Columbia University where they discussed service to our great nation. Both candidates encouraged the school to reinstate its ROTC program after being shut down during Vietnam. Despite Sen. Obama's massive popularity in the left-leaning NYC, and the fact that Columbia is his alma mater, he was booed in a chorus of CHUDitude as he dared suggest that military service could be a viable opportunity. Arkansas INDY Media has the scoop from "Revolution", a NYC panphlet that seeks to win students to the program of "Marx, Engels, Lenin and Trotsky":

Barack Obama dropped a bomb on his young enthusiasts at Columbia University on September 11. The heavily Democratic crowd booed McCain when he called for the Reserve Officer Training Corps (ROTC) to be brought back to campus (it was driven out in 1969 by protests against the Vietnam war). Liberal students expected a different answer from Columbia alum Obama. “Almost everyone’s expecting him to say no [to the ROTC], because he’s on our side, right? So then you heard him say ‘yes’ and everyone’s mouths opened in stunned silence,” a student told the New York Sun (15 September). That should have been the tip-off for anyone who hadn’t figured it out by then: Obama is no “peace candidate” but like McCain he is a certified imperialist war candidate.

This seems to be the guiding principle for the naysayers at Columbia, as it's politically convenient to cast off the military as "imperialist" so that "other people" from flyover country can go off to serve our country. Presumably, some Columbia students feel more proud to take jobs in investment banking and large media conglomerates, so they can spend their twenties at wine and cheese parties in the Upper East Side instead of actually doing something useful for society.

There's one Marine at Columbia who is appealling to Mr. Obama for assistance, and hopefully he doesn't get run off the campus with torches and pitchforks before the campaign gets the word.

Strange Religious Comment At WSJ About Track Palin

2008-09-30T23:15:00.000-07:00

An anonymous reader directs our attention to an odd comment about Track Palin, who is off to serve his country in Iraq. This disappoints a commenter at WSJ as he sees it as a "wasted" life and even brings up the anti-christ as a form of CHUD attack. From WSJ:

“Satan always has a motive, and it usually results in wasted lives, and elaborate deceptions to bleed the support money from the pockets of traditional Christians, who have been beguiled into tithing or giving to Satan’s ministers and Satan’s churches.”
Why are Palin’s children headed for early motherhood, war, a life of dependency instead of training, work, or even the completion of childhood? Why these wasted lives?
Why support the “bridge to no where” & then take the money & keep it for other purposes? Why these elaborate deceptions? Why did they elope & why do you never see Todd in church? What does he have against Christ’s ministers & Christ’s churches? The antiChrist claims to be anointed by God with the Holy Spirit, to be qualified to work in God’s name. But he is a false Christ.

These religious crazies are incredibly difficult to decipher, but they probably would only be proud of armies found in the book of Revelation (e.g. the Four Horsemen).

An Army a Religious Wacko could be proud of!

Creepy Photo of the Day

2008-09-29T18:46:00.000-07:00

Spotted by Mr. and Ms. Kiyum at the UNC-Chapel Hill ROTC armory. Apparently, some think the military is full of "rethuglicans".

Detailed Plans on Gulag for US Soldiers over at AZ Central

2008-09-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

Re-Education Camps: Is There a Historical Precedent?

The anonymously named "Code Monkey" writes in this CHUDtastic discovery:

Sometimes I wonder what some online news organizations are thinking when they allow readers to comment on articles. Some shut down comments on more volatile articles; others make you click to another page to see what the commenters have to say. The rest leave it all out splayed out at the end of the article.

Sometimes readers can't help but keep scrolling through to the comments, like when one looks at a car accident at the side of the road. Well, when you keep staring, sometimes you see something you didn't want to see.

At the Arizona Republic website, there's an article about the deployment ceremony for the 29th Brigade Support Battalion of the Arizona National Guard. Azcentral.com left it open to comments. The antiwar keyboard warriors took this opportunity to spew the venom that lurks in the dark corners of their minds, showing their faux bravado that they wield when safe behind their cloak of internet anonymity.

At first, you just notice the usual moonbat comments: it's a war for oil, it's an occupation, we can't win, our soldiers are just kids, the National Guard was not meant for deployment to overseas wars…

But then bostonblackie (Sep-25 @ 12:00 PM) tells us all that what we need is reeducation camps for all the atrocity-committing soldiers who will not be able to contain their bombing, murdering, raping ways once they come back from Iraq:

U.S. troops WILL be returning. Will we be ready for them? It is all too apparent that these soldiers, having committed atrocities world-wide, will be unfit for civil society unless they undergo a lengthy rehabilitation process. I propose that Fort Huachuca be used for this purpose.

This rehabilitation, or 're-education', will by necessity have to be conducted in secure facilities; both for the protection of civilians, and for the safety of the troops themselves. Happily, one of the very bases where they were trained to be killers can easily be used to confine them until they are ready to become productive members of society. It is highly desirable that only those bases that are far removed from population centers be used. Fort Huachuca in southern Arizona would be doubly good; the barbaric behavior once taught there would be un-taught in the same settings, thus reinforcing the lessons.

Having shot, bombed, beaten and sexually abused civilians, contact with non-military personnel must be extremely limited for the first six months or so of their internment. Their progress toward rehabilitation must be carefully monitored by psychiatric workers, and only those who show demonstrable, increasing levels of responsibility toward society will be allowed limited contact with non-military personnel. Due to the extremely high incidence of spousal abuse/murder among the returnees, conjugal visits should be prohibited for the first year.

For the first few months, their re-education must be the simple rules of good manners:

You don't shoot people.

You don't bomb people.

You don't beat people.

It is never OK to sexually abuse people.

No means No.

Role-playing will be of some use in this re-education, but aversion therapy will also prove useful.

The returning soldiers should be issued civilian clothes with no ensignia of rank, and all their government issued clothing should be burned in a ritualistic public manner to stress a complete break with their dark and bloody past.

Staffing in the re-education centers must be by social workers, not prison guards; the social workers should also dress in ordinary street clothes with only a small name tag to differentiate them from the general populace. No matter their understandable revulsion at the enormity of the crimes committed by the returning soldiers; the staff should avoid calling them names like "war criminals", "baby killers" and "scum".

As their re-education progresses, the better behaved internees should be allowed short, heavily supervised visits to Sierra Vista. Here they should demonstrate their new behavior by (for example) purchasing a cup of coffee without pointing a rifle, and asking directions without sexually abusing anyone. As they become more suited to dealing with humans, the returnees may be allowed to visit Tucson and Phoenix, again heavily supervised. Until their re-education is complete, no detainee should be allowed entry to Bisbee.

Rehabilitation and re-education will be of little effect without a large element of redemption; the returning soldiers should be encouraged to knit and sew clothing for their victims world-wide; and to write letters of apology to the peoples they have oppressed, raped and murdered. Any returnee that does not show tangible atonement should not be punished in any way, but the returnee should also not be released until such atonement is demonstrated.

Of course, some of the returning soldiers will be so inured to committing violent acts that their rehabilitation will take years, or even decades! But we must never loose hope that even the most depraved G.I. can be turned from evil.

If you think he's a troll, see:

Sep-25 @ 3:49 PM

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."

the creator gave us all our rights
not the army
national guard
air force
navy
border patrol

seems like some here are calling the founders of america liars

(Uh, dude, you forgot the United States Marine Corps.)

And…

Sep-25 @ 4:03 PM

fight for the "rights" of goldman sachs and royal dutch shell if you want; for the "rights" of
fannie mae
freddie mac
exxon
haliburton
aig...
but don't tell me or yourself you are fighting for
MY
rights
'cause you are not

Bigboomer2110 (Sep-25 @ 2:34 PM) responds:

First off I am an OIF veteran. I have carried flag draped coffins and have seen the horror that has never been on the news. I was able to "re-integrate" into society without raping, beating, bombimg or molesting anyone. Bostonblackie you sir or mam are the crux of the problem in this country. You believe you are entitled to your opinion simply because you live here. Well I am sorry to have to burst your bubble, your right to stand on a soapbox of freedom and expostulate your assinine rhetoric is granted to you by someone who has more courage and understanding of sacrifice than you will ever be able to grasp. It is fine to have your opinion of the war and of Bush, as well as whomever takes his place. If it is your wish to dissrespect the brave men and women who sacrifice to protect your freedoms please do so elsewhere, you and people who think like you don't deserve what you are guaranteed by your citizenship.

Soldier's Wrangler Trashed For Being Too Soldiery

2008-09-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

A former service member and Iraq veteran, Viktor Whitlow, has had his Jeep trashed by thuggin' CHUDs at a university in Texas. This was not a random act of vandalism, as, literally, the red paint was thrown with the oft-cited C.H.U.D. meme that "Soldiers are Murderers". From NBC5i in Dallas:

The vandals used a box cutter to destroy the inside of his jeep, they slashed five tires and smashed through the windshield. Perhaps the most shocking detail to the vandalism was the message spray painted on his hood.In red paint the vandals spraypainted the message, "Soldiers are murderers."

Ouch, they even slashed the spare. The university is covering the cost of repairs for Mr. Whitlow's Jeep, but the VIN will always be associated with being tainted by a ruthless attack from those that seek to denigrate our military. The mission of the Dallas Baptist University is to
"provide Christ-centered quality higher education in the arts, sciences, and professional studies" and it seems the vandal in question assumed Jesus went around with a box-cutter in the middle of the night.

(h/t David M of The Thunder Run)

Code Pink Hangs It Up in Berkeley

2008-09-24T18:48:00.000-07:00

Not Even the Frightening Witches of Code Pink Could Scare off our beloved Marine Corps

The Berkeley Marine Officer Recruiting Station has been under siege by CHUDs and assorted crazies for months. Code Pink issued a triumphant release entitled "Mission Accomplished" on East Bay Indy Media proclaiming a successful CHUD attack designed to take apart our military:

Major protest operations at the MRS have been ended, one year since covert military recruiting operations were first uncovered in Berkeley!

Our coalition is now engaged in dis(as)sembling and deconstructing the U.S. military, making the world safe and secure!

Our city and our coalition are proud of these accomplishments!

Come to our One Year End Recruiting Commemoration Wednesday, Sept 24th noon at the MRS* to honor these courageous Peace Activists!

Share and hear testimonies from the front lines of our most memorable, meaningful, insightful actions, episodes, and occurrences over the past year.

While Code Pink talks a big game like Attila the Hun as they lead a bunch of savages against a respected military institution, it's too bad for that Jonn Lillyea actually called the recruiting office in question. The Captain said the place still had a 3-year lease. Also, Protest Shooter has pics of the office still open for business while the hooligans in Code Pink and various 9/11 troofer miscreants congregate at the end of the block like a bunch of hobos. Go back to the sewer you losers.

Area Wuss Belittles Troops in Boston Globe

2008-09-23T23:34:00.000-07:00

Steven Almond writes in an Op-Ed:

Perhaps the most insidious byproduct of the attacks of Sept. 11, 2001, has been a reflexive sanctification of the military. To put this in bumper stickerese: Support the Troops. Well, I have an ugly confession to make: I don't support the troops - at least not unconditionally. When somebody tells me they serve in the military, my first impulse isn't to say, "Thank you for your service!" like those insufferable chickenhawks on talk radio.

My first impulse is to say, "I'm sorry to hear that." Because I am. I'm sorry to know that the person I'm talking to might someday be maimed or killed on the job, or might someday kill someone else. Or refuel a plane that drops bombs on buildings.

His discourse is short on facts and heavy on "feelings" against the troops, which helps explains why one of the forums on his website is dedicated to pointing out perceived "bullies" (e.g. NASCAR fans, Fox News anchors, and other people who would wear an American Flag shirt without irony). It seems Mr. Almond hasn't recovered from the barrage of swirlies, wedgies, and laughter received during high school and is adopting a "jocks vs. nerds" mentality towards people in uniform. Repressed memories of the football team stuffing you in the locker isn't a good basis for foreign and military policy, but the Boston Globe doesn't see it that way and decided to run this bile. The Huffington Post has Steve Almond on staff and his postings are a series of creepy letters in the first-hand perspective addressed to Barack Obama. I wonder if he puts on lipstick and masturbates while writing these things due to psychological trauma. The Obama campaign should get the secret service involved.

Ygleisas: Not a CHUD, but Crossing into the Danger Zone

2008-09-17T20:07:00.000-07:00

Annoying Tax Burden?

Matt Ygleisas is an influential progressive blogger and often discusses foreign and domestic policy, that's why C.H.U.D. Busters was a bit disturbed to see him write this following post:

It would be silly, of course, to think you can draw a straight line from the Iraq War to the AIG bailout. Or to suggest that prompting widespread panic around credit default swaps was OBL’s idea from the get-go. But at the same time, it can’t really be denied that the economy would be in better shape if the $100+ billion that we’ve spent in Iraq every year for the past five years had, instead, been invested by public and private hands in productive enterprises. If instead of building bombs and Humvees that get destroyed quickly and then replaced, we’d been adding to the national stock of capital and consumer goods. If the people who’d been maimed in the war and are now getting medical treatment were, instead, working productively. Things like that.

Certainly veterans care is expesnive, but society has an obligation to ensure people injured in the line of duty are properly cared for and not lambasted for being annoying tax burdens like the guy on welfare who uses food stamps to buy T-bone steaks. At a time when resources in a tough economy become scarce, C.H.U.D. Busters hopes that society will opt for spending tax revenue on veterans and not so much on the next NYC banking conglomerate that goes belly up.

Grouchy Old Coot Loses His Faith in the Military

2008-09-16T23:14:00.000-07:00

Ricard Cohen in his Acting Career

Type: Geezer C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 3
Location of Outbreak: Washington Post Op-Ed (h/t This Ain't Hell)
Description of Attack: Richard Cohen pens a lengthy, partisan Op-Ed about the not-so-Straight Talk McCain, but throws in a complete non-sequitur regarding the awfulness of the military for no logical reason other than he's just a grouchy old geezer that missed Matlock last night. From WaPo:

Who believes that in Afghanistan last month, only five civilians were killed by the American military in an airstrike, instead of the approximately 90 claimed by the Afghan government? Not me. I first gave up on the military during Vietnam and then again when it covered up the death of Pat Tillman, the Army Ranger and former NFL player who was killed in 2004 by friendly fire.

Mr. Cohen will be glad to know that some of our elderly citizens still believe in the military, as it has been doing an okay job even before the invention of the Rascal, Viagra, and the advent of the cultural phenomenon known as the Golden Girls.

Prognosis: Richard Cohen is a grumpy old curmudgeon who has become sort of an icon of parody amidst circles in the blogosphere. His tirade against online book sales and tattooed whippersnappers has made him an easy target for those devious Gen Xers who won't get off his proverbial lawn on WaPo. However, a C.H.U.D. attack was a bit unexpected, as the nation's elderly can still recall when the military was the institution preventing the U.S. from being wiped off the face of the earth in WWII. As TSO says, what a moran!

Sears Offers Up Fall Fashions of Military Blingage

2008-09-15T22:02:00.001-07:00

Milbling! From Hot Chicks With Douchebags

Type: Miblingin C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Attack: Sears Fall Fashion Line from All American Apparel, Nabbed by VetVoice and Politico
Description of Outbreak: The military's effect on contemporary culture is well known, what with the advent of camo cargo pants and diamond studded dog tags to impress your date. It's a natural evolution of culture as soldier's come back from the combat zone to intermingle with the citizenry. But what about when a private clothing company uses the insignia from one of the Army's most storied Divisions, The Big Red One, to hawk some cheesy wares to make a quick buck. The Politico explains:

But Sears, Roebuck and Co. is already moving to market its 1st Division “collection” this fall, and All American Apparel Inc., a privately held New York manufacturer, told Politico on Saturday that it had license from the Pentagon to proceed.

Caught most by surprise are combat veterans of the 1st Infantry Division, who see their familiar red-and-green shoulder patch splashed across Internet websites celebrating soldier chic.

Brandon Friedman has more from 1stID combat vets:

"Wait. What?" he said. The concept wasn't registering. "What do you. . .I have no idea what you're--" he stammered. "You mean they sold the actual patch? To Sears? Like to put on regular clothes?"
He looked horrified. Like he'd just discovered his car had been broken into.

These vets need to suck it up and realize that there's profit to be had. Who wouldn't want to see legions of gel-haired douchebags prowling the nightclubs with spiked hair advertising the merits of the 1st ID?

Prognosis: Haute Concept has pictures of the trashy gear, and notes that it is a way for people to feel "tougher" or more macho about themselves. Like Members Only jackets in decades past, the illusion of being part of an elite and unique organization can pay off handsomely when marketing yourself to the opposite sex. Unfortunately, it does no service to the people who had to actually bust their ass in the heat to get the 1st Infatry Division combat patch, and that didn't include dry-humping the Delta Delta chicks at McScooner's during Rush week.

C.H.U.D. Talk with a Feisty Co-Ed

2008-09-15T21:49:00.000-07:00

Commenter Julia writes in on the DNC protest:

Just the fact that I am allowed to think for myself is evidence enough that I am free, and so are you. We do not start wars for "freedom". We fight wars for our national interest (this is quite true; take an international relations class).

Ms. Julia, thank you for your comment, but C.H.U.D. Busters is a non-partisan effort at pointing out those that "Don't Support the Troops" and is hardly the place for political discourse. However, we do feel that our military personnel taking part in a war is a necessity when called upon. The grave threats of Fascism, Slavery, Independence from England, and now Terrorism have been/will be overcome on the battlefields, and probably not at a Chomsky lecture your evil capitali$t parents are paying for. Sorry, but that's how we feel :-\

Bottom of the Barrel in Politics

2008-09-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

Is anything sacred anymore?

(h/t Gateway Pundit)

War Memorial Defaced By Artsy CHUDs

2008-09-08T22:35:00.000-07:00

Tagging can be an interesting artistic statement, but memorials should be off-limits

Many of us probably think graffiti in an urban setting is a pretty cool way to gussy up an otherwise boring side of a freight car. However, it goes without say that it has no place on a war memorial. Especially when the young punks who did it, were the same age of the soldier that it was a tribute to (SGT Dustin Laird, KIA Al-Qaim 2006). From the Army Times:

A West Tennessee judge has sentenced two people who admitted defacing a memorial to a dead soldier to work at the armory of the soldier’s National Guard unit.
Brandon White, who is 23, and 22-year-old Sara Gallimore appeared before General Sessions Court judge Tommy Moore on Wednesday in Dresden.
WCMT Radio in Martin reported Moore ordered White and Gallimore to pay $100 each in restitution for painting a memorial to Spc. Dustin Laird in Martin with images of a skull and skeleton.
Moore also assigned them to put in 200 hours of community service work at the armory where Laird’s unit is based in Union City.
Laird was a member of the 913th Engineer Company.

Luckily, the Judge wasn't afraid to lay the smack-down.

(h/t) David M of The Thunder Run

Protester Hooligans Make Trouble in the Twin Cities

2008-09-01T22:27:00.000-07:00

Peaceful Protests Not so Peaceful on the Public property (pic from Atlas Shrugs)

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 10
Location of Outbreak: RNC Protests, reported in various outlets
Description of Attack: Thugs have taken advantage of the hiatus on the RNC due to Gustav to wreak havoc throughout the Twin Cities. The SF Chronicle reports:

Earlier today, several groups of demonstrators - many with bandanas covering their faces who identified themselves as anarchists - broke from the main march. They set a fire in a garbage Dumpster, damaged five police squad cars and smashed three giant display windows at a Macy's department store, police said. Store spokeswoman Jennifer McNamara said the store would increase security for the rest of the week in response to the vandalism.

Despite sympathies towards these hooligans from left-leaning blogs, there is no way to disguise this utter contempt for public decency in order to make a point about how awful it is to live in America. The March on the RNC website has flyers calling the Iraq war "theft, torture, and murder" despite citing no evidence to these ridiculous allegations. Of course, this would imply that this protest was actually about a political statement, and not an excuse for young punks who didn't get enough attention from their parents to destroy public property in a nihilistic rage.

Prognosis: Overwhelming force is a proper method to deal with these trouble makers. Unfortunately, many of these clowns seek martyrdom by pretending to be victims of supposed "police brutality", so law enforcement is in a bit of Catch-22 in how to deal with this riff raff. But it is best to err on the side of using non-lethal force, like this unfortunate CHUD who got pepper-sprayed trying to recreate some lame 60s image by giving a flower to the police. Apparently, the police weren't intersted.

A Tribute to the Denver Police

2008-08-26T20:14:00.000-07:00

C.H.U.D. Busters would like to take a moment to credit the true heroes, who are braving the filthy hordes of hooligans and miscreants to stop those that seek to disrupt our beloved democratic process. That's the Denver Police of course!

C.H.U.D.s waiting to pounce on their unsuspecting prey (photo zombietime)

But they get too bold...How's the view from pepper spray heaven fellas?

Don't stop the music!

Sadr Sympathizers Migrate from Basra to Denver

2008-08-24T22:40:00.000-07:00

Peoples Press Collective has this garbage and much more From the DNC protests

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 9
Location of Outbreak: Denver DNC Protests, Spotted by the PPC
Description of Attack: Trouble a-brewin in Denver was predicted weeks ago, and it appears to have manifested even before the actual DNC has started. Besides speeches from fake Native-American Ward Churchill on how North America is under military occupation and clowns in bandanas heckling Fox News, a sign was spotted calling for solidarity with murderous thug Muqtada al-Sadr. Sadr's Mahdi Army is responsible for massacring Sunnis in Baghdad, engaging in massive corruption and intimidation throughout southern Iraq, and killing our troops with advanced weaponry provided by Iran. He is a bit of an unsavory character, so it is confusing why protesting CHUDs would want to align themselves with the cleric, unless they wanted to trade their fashionable "Defend Denver" t-shirts for the not-so-cool abaya.

Prognosis: Some CHUDs feel so strongly against "AmeriKKKa", that they align themselves ideologically with any group that also strongly opposes America (even violently). This is typical CHUD behavior that was evident in Vietnam with Hanoi Jane perched side-by-side with the NVA enemy while an active war was happening. While the riff-raff in Denver might not have the financial capability to fly to Qom, Iran to "Hang with Muqtada", they make catchy signs to parade around in front of the media to demoralize our service members. Also, they can only align themselves with America's enemies by proxy, since direct combat with the military would result in an ass-whooping not seen since Caeser conquered Gaul.

The CHUD militia in action: Lame at Best (pic from Gateway Pundit)

AZ Vet Cemetery Under Attack

2008-08-22T00:00:00.000-07:00

A passion for ultraviolence would be the only way you could justify vandalizing a Veterans Cemetery

Type: Thuggin' CHUDs
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: National Memorial Cemetery of Arizona, Depicted on local CBS affiliate (h/t Jacki)
Description of Attack: Jacki writes in that the veterans cemetery in Arizona is being vandalized by low-class goons. CBS in Phoenix explains:

Vandals are stealing headstones, ripping down signs and plastering graffiti on pillars at the Valley's Veteran's National Memorial Cemetery, Phoenix police said."Well, they tried to pry this off the wall,' said Wayne Ellis, cemetery director. Ellis was pointing to a spot where vandals tried to pry open a memorial marker where the remains of one of Arizona's U.S. war veterans is enshrined.Ellis said it's the latest incident in string of crimes targeting the cemetery off Cave Creek Road in north Phoenix.Over the past several weeks, there have been at least a half dozen random acts of vandalism, Ellis said. The crimes range from grave markers stolen to inscripted memories shattered, he said.

Judging by the offensiveness of these crimes, you'd wonder if these Thug CHUDs would engage with necrophiliac acts with their mother like Ed Gein.

Prognosis: Like Alex in A Clockwork Orange vandalism and violence is often done for no rational reason, yet symbolizes a disturbing trend in our modern society. When even the cemeteries of our veterans are desecrated, it pretty much opens the door for anything else to be destroyed in a fit of nihilism. They are filming porns at memorials in Europe, and there doesn't seem to be any respect left.

CHUD Cheers on Death of French Allies, Bizarre LaRouchey Views on the Economy

2008-08-21T22:48:00.000-07:00

A cartoon from Elaine Meinel Supkis. It's meaning is only known to her, God, and the voices in her head.

Type: Conspiracy C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: EZ Reading Money Matters Blog (h/t NavyCS)
Description of Attack: While the cowardly Taliban continues to engage in terrorist attacks against civilians and ISAF troops in Afghanistan, they would be ecstatic to know that they have a cadre of supporters back here in the states. Elaine Meinel cheers on the heroic terrorists:

US Airfarce bombed French surrender monkeys in Afghanistan. HAHAHA. Why are the French there in the first place? Or the US Airforce? Time to talk about mountain tribes, imperial warfare and the many ironies of history.

and

The editors of the New York Times are utterly unable to explain why it is vital for the US to expand the eternal war in Afghanistan. Usually, we win wars by nuking civilian populations or carpet bombing industrial rivals. But how many ball bearing factories does Afghanistan have? How many airplane factories? Or tank factories does this tiny, landlocked, poor country have?

and

Sarkozy is a 100% Zionist. He will kill endless numbers of French soldiers to gain global power so Israel can crush the hardy, difficult Palestinians. The US has bombed many people who were the wrong people so far in the mountain fighting in Afghanistan.

This endless humiliation of the recently fallen and speculation done in sentence fragments continues on perpetually, and reminds one of the deranged homeless person on the street that you dish out 35 cents to leave you alone.

Prognosis: Elaine, who is unsurprisingly endorsed by CHUD-infested DU, reminds me of a Lyndon Larouche protege. These people rail about being Henry Kissinger being a "British Agent", have for decades warned of an economic collapse that hasn't happened, and once beat up the opposition with nunchucks during something called Operation "Mop Up". They thrive on human misery, endlessly driveling on about future suffering for the human race if we don't subscribe to their nutty ideals. Her bio, printed at the bottom of this interview, indicates that she lives on a mountain with a bunch of animals. Hopefully she stays there.

Tell Sen. Obama To Avoid the C.H.U.D. Blood Money

2008-08-19T22:34:00.000-07:00

Jodie Evans of Code Pink: Enjoys Yoga, Biking Across the Golden Gate Bridge, Killing American Soldiers in Iraq

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 5
Location of Outbreak: Alternet, Highlighted by RNC (h/t McClatchy Watch)
Description of Attack: A bundler from Code Pink, who was gotten her mitts on $50-$100K for the Obama campaign, is a full blown C.H.U.D. She attended the World Tribunal on Iraq, which gave us such ideological abortions as the brutal insurgency in Iraq was justified and that we humble Americans should support the Iraqi resistance that actively kills our troops. Her whole wretched statement can be seen on this 2005 Alternet article:

We must begin by really standing with the Iraqi people and defending their right to resist. I can remain myself against all forms of violence, and yet I cannot judge what someone has to do when pushed to the wall to protect all they love. The Iraqi people are fighting for their country, to protect their families and to preserve all they love. They are fighting for their lives, and we are fighting for lies. We must get out of Iraq now. They will rebuild their country, it will take time, a long time, but they cannot start until we are gone.

For the Record: Suicide Bombings against Civilians (a common tactic by the Iraqi Insurgency) shall now be called Love Bombs!

Prognosis: Jodie Evans is so wrapped up in her anti-war/anti-America spiel, that she will even support America's enemies who utilize the most brutal of tactics which deliberately target civilians (and American troops). She follows in the long, treasonous line of Jane Fonda supporting the NVA, Noam Chomsky supporting Hezbollah, and other various riff-raff that sit safely within America's borders free to spew their bile. Tell Obama to give the damn money back. It's just simple politics. Ron Paul once took money from a white supremacist organization, and look how it turned out for him (I think he's rummaging through the CHUD Busters garbage can out in the street right now for dinner).

Foreign Policy Expert Roseanne Blames Every Injustice on the Right-Wing Military

2008-08-18T22:14:00.000-07:00

Roseanne Follows Up On Her Wildly Successful Movie Career w/Savvy Political Commentary

Type: Celebrity C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: Roseanne's Wacky Blog (h/t The Sniper)
Description of Attack: Members of the cinematic industry are traditionally liberal, and deviating from that paradigm, as Jon Voight did and Angelina Jolie might, can subject accomplished actors to horrendous criticism from washed-up losers like Roseanne Barr. Roseanne offers her intelligent insight on the current Hollywood political climate by associating the refugees that Brangelina try to help with victims of a right-wing military conspiracy. In her fit of rage, she spews out a grammatically incorrect C.H.U.D. attack in order to bolster her confusing point:

Aren't you supposed to be somewhat enlightened, or do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party's worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan? whaaaa...??????!!!! (for that matter, the thai and cambodian sons you are photo'd with weekly too who's pictures you sell to raise money to help the poor? Their families are victims of America's right wing military incursions too.)

For the record, the U.S. military has long held good relations with Thailand, and even assisted in providing humanitarian assistance during the devastating tsunami in late 2004. As for Cambodia, much of their suffering was due to the brutality of the Khmer Rouge regime under Pol Pot, generally viewed as a "left-wing" military incursion. Of course, Roseanne probably isn't interested in these facts, just as she isn't interested in properly capitalizing the beginning of sentences.

Prognosis: Presumably, Roseanne seems to be attempting to bolster support for presumptive Democratic nominee, Senator Obama, with her post. But she is doing a bit of disservice to him, as she references him as having a "bone through his nose" and once quipped on the Huffington Post about his "jew problem". This frighteningly bigoted world view means CHUD-like characteristics are just around the corner. Dirty Harry summarizes her motivation when he states: "What a sad, small, unfulfilled life she must lead to demean herself in such a way hoping to, just once more and for a fleeting moment, feel the comforting warmth in the spotlight of attention again. What a pitiable figure that she can’t be satisfied with the fame she had and the wealth she has." Or a more simple, yet appropriate observation is made by TSO with "Shaddap Dummy".

Fringe Group on the Streets of NYC Says Fuck the Marines

2008-08-17T20:30:00.000-07:00

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 6
Location of Outbreak: Times Square, NYC (posted on YouTube)
Description of Attack: The 90s-era Giuliani purge of all things undesirable on Times Square apparently forgot to ship off the Black Israelites to Jersey. A NY Times article from a decade ago notes how they have continued to set up shop in NYC, advocating for the enslavement of white people. This bit must've gotten old, because now they are stepping up their CHUD attacks on Marines, regardless of race. CHUD Busters watched the video so you don't have to:

0:25 Claims that the Army Beret has satanic connotations
1:26 Poster of A-bomb with "America Shall Soon Be Destroyed" prominently displayed
2:29 "Fuck America, Fuck the Marines"
3:30 WTC buildings came down from missiles?!? Uh-oh, we've gone into Truther territory
4:10 Creepy Revelations quotes about the apocalypse
8:00 Walking on picture of Jesus

The Marine's suggestion to "knock themselves out" is the smartest thing I heard in this entire abortion of a clip.

Prognosis: NYC has long been known for bringing the crazy to the streets, but it is also very friendly to our servicemembers, and this Marine should consider himself protected from CHUD attacks while out in public. But he should be fearful of encountering these people in a concealed location. The YouTube user, HARMAGADWAN, has a repertoire of public shenanigans in NYC, and his corny, monochromatic website has photoshopped images that imply all white people are caveman, World War III is upon us (includes Revalations quotes), and that the image of Jesus has been corrupted. The antics of this group are almost like watching a self-parody, and it's very hard to view their CHUDistic affront with any sort of seriousness.

C.H.U.D. Presumed Extinct Located in Brooklyn!

2008-08-14T22:15:00.000-07:00

Careful! Skinny-Jeaned Hipsters can Morph Into CHUDs at a Moment's Notice

Type: Trust Fund C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: BushwickBK, Senior Editor Jeremy Sapienza
Description of Attack: Often, CHUDs can get so beat down by their counterparts that don't dwell in a sewer of filth, that they go into hiding for months and even years. Jeremy Sapienza wrote the following elegant eulogy for the 2000 KIA servicemember in Iraq back in 2005 at Project for the New Anarchist Century:

Well, it seems the 2000th slackjawed yokel/fresh-from-Chihuahua tomato-picker/"urban" slum-dweller baby-killer has finally bit it in Iraq. That's 2000 less future homeless junkie serial-killer rapist petty thief semi-crippled nutjobs to be subsidized/suffered by the productive people of these United States. To paraphrase the neocons: "Better to get them over there before they get us over here."

I have been saying for a while, the only good thing about wars is that they attract the most worthless illiterate dirtbag shitsack welfare-suckers to be scraped off the bottom of society's pot and flung away like the human trash they are to be erased from the gene pool in a foreign place.

His subtlety in CHUDology is not very apparent, and many in the blogosphere were not very thrilled with his violent outbursts. Jeremy was summarily booted off the already CHUD-riddled websites of Lew Rockwell and AntiWar.com and rarely heard of or seen since.

However, he has revitalized himself in 2008 as a hipster blogger in Brooklyn at BushwickBK, discussing such important issues in a time of war as blurry photos of Susan Sarandon walking the streets of New York, a new awning for a falafel shop, and the real estate market for douchey white people that would never talk to you because you don't listen to the White Stripes. Note to Mr. Sapienza: It's hard to hide behind your newfound beat, when the internet can provide a disturbing look into your online past.

Prognosis: Jeremy clearly has a view of an American ideal that can be found in the corners of the NYC burroughs, and everything else is simply "bullshit" to him. Consider that he refferred to his recent trip to Orlando as a town full of "hicks and spics", let that be a testament to his intolerant world. Servicemembers cannot exist in Jeremy's America, so he uses his limited pulpit to denigrate them in an attempt to make the country look like an old post from Stuff White People Like.

American Airlines Narrowly Avoids the C.H.U.D. Label

2008-08-14T21:59:00.000-07:00

Wek dropped C.H.U.D. Busters a tip about American Airlines charging too much for servicemember bags headed for the front, but AA decided to implement new policy to waive the fee. Good for them, because no respectable organization would want to be perceived as bunch of CHUDs.

Marines Get Beat Up in NYC Brawl

2008-08-12T21:59:00.000-07:00

Like the Warriors, the Marines Were From Coney Island in Brooklyn When They Got Beat Up By A Gang Resembling The Furies

Type: Thuggin' CHUDs
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: Coney Island, NY Post Reports (h/t Moonbattery)
Description of Attack: Our beloved Marine Corps is probably the last branch of service low-class CHUDs would want to tango with. However, when two marines tried to help a damsel in distress out in Coney Island, a mob of 50 thugs clearly outnumbers them. The NY Post reports on this violence against our service members:

"It wasn't our intention to get into a fight," said Bukler. "We said, 'Let the girl go, and we'll leave.' We told them, 'Stop.'

"She was screaming, and all we did was look to help her. I got a bottle smashed over my head, and after that, I started fighting. But I got beat down.

"I was getting my ass kicked by 50 people."

Their friend called Olenyev's brother, Ivan, 22.

"When I showed up, there were a lot of people there, people on the left and people on the right, and then - 'Boom!' - I got hit and passed out," Ivan told The Post from his hospital bed.

Police sources said he was pounded senseless by 240-pound Timothy Dixon, 23, who was swinging a metal baseball bat.

Good thing it wasn't that chick gang from The Warriors...the Lizzies.

Prognosis: Many of our service members are from rough neighborhoods, and have to deal with the local riff-raff despite their honorable service. Fortunately, none of the Marines were killed in this confrontation, like Jamiel Shaw in Los Angeles, whose Mom was a soldier. The actions of thugs was probably based on a depraved view of humanity, and not simply an anti-military attack, but they probably wouldn't have been any less forgiving if they knew their victims were Marines.

Westboro Stopped At The Border

2008-08-12T21:54:00.000-07:00

Canadian officials stopped the Westboro Baptist Church clowns from crossing the border to protest the funeral of the murdered Tim McLean. Go Canada, eh! (h/t Liberty Zone)

Marines Just Wanna Have Fun

2008-08-12T20:52:00.000-07:00

Not Even Extra Cash and a Jug Of Ripped Fuel Will Get Servicemembers Into Clubs in NC

Type: Frat Boy C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: Wilmington, North Carolina, The Club Scene (h/t NavyCS)
Description of Attack: Short, high-and-tight haircuts make service members stand out like a sore thumb amidst a sea of gel-haired douchebags usually found in the club scene. While the competition to meet the ladies might be fierce in the dimly-lit backrooms of Wilmington, some club owners and bouncers won't even give them a fightin' chance as they are denied access under some weird antebellum law. WHQR in Wilmington explains:

On this night Navy Corpsmen Kenny Preudhomme and Chris Burns stand beside their car in downtown Wilmington and spray themselves with cologne. They're dressed in polo shirts and jeans, and blend in with the civilians on the sidewalk. Only their extra-short haircuts flag them as service members . . . and that haircut might be a liability. They've heard about bouncers in Wilmington turning away Marines and sailors. Preudhomme explains.

"If the bouncer's not having a good night and he sees military members, he's going to automatically think we're going to start something, just try to ruin someone's night."

A bouncer can probably fall back on a law that says if you aren't a member of that bar, you can't get in. Most military personnel are in town for one or two nights, and the law says you have to wait three days to become a member.

While it's one thing to support the troops with a yellow magnet, it's quite another matter when the civilian population has to interact with them, where stereotypes clearly run rampant.

Prognosis: Despite the fact that military service members have a lower crime rate than the average civilian population here and abroad, business owners stereotype regulation haircuts with drunken hooliganism and barroom brawls. Despite robust support for the military from North Carolina, many of the same constituents could develop a NIMBY-like attitude towards unsupervised service members frequenting their establishments. Kudos to NavyCS for locating this brand of CHUD that many service members have to deal with while blowing off steam on the weekends.

Update: Ms. Kiyum provides information on a recent meeting with the Marines and Wilmington business owners.

The Chaplain Pervs Out

2008-08-06T22:25:00.000-07:00

Is Being a Creep in the Bible?

Type: C.H.U.D. Benedict Arnold
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: USS Carl Vinson, depicted in Military Times
Description of Attack: Chaplains are some of the most respected officers in the Navy, and when the chain-of-command doesn't know how to solve your problem, they usually advise you to see "The Chaplain" (regardless of your religious affiliation). But LT Dillman stands accused of violating this sacred trust, and putting his holy mitts all over two young, enlisted sailors while stationed on the USS Carl Vinson (CVN-70). Some profiles in creepiness include:

inappropriate fraternization (that's military jargon which includes fucking) with two enlisted female sailors
threatening to have one sailor's parents audited by the IRS
summoning a female sailor to his office while he was in his underoos
falsely claiming that he was involved in combat in Iraq and even shot!
saying he was the most powerful man on the ship next to the skipper

Abuse of power at it's finest...

Prognosis: At a time when the publicly is increasingly incensed about sexual assault in uniform, this man is certainly not helping rectify the problem. As Brandon Friedman notes "...it is a problem for which we should have zero tolerance. All troops must feel safe within the ranks." Officers are supposed to "set the standard" in the military in the hopes that everyone else will follow suit. Unfortunately, acting like the creepy old guy at a sorority mixer has the potential to turn the Navy into a floating version of Benny Hill.

WWII Heroes as "Suckers"

2008-08-05T22:25:00.000-07:00

Shocker: Frank Weltner's criticism extends beyond simple antisemitism

Type: Conspiracy C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 6
Location of Outbreak: Jew Watch, the whole creepy site
Description of Attack: Frank Weltner is an unsavory character. He was issued an injunction in the state of Missouri for deceptively soliciting funds for his hate site by saying it was for Hurricane Katrina donations, he frequently rails against the "ZOG machine" (which should set off your crazydar), and his website reminds cyber denizens of the early days of the internet when everything was midget porn, Star Trek fan fiction , and bizarre conspiracy sites. But he took a break on Memorial Day from bashing our Jewish friends to bashing the troops.

Memorial to America's Death Video:

2:30 I am the dead American from WWI...dead for nothing
3:32 I am the sucker that died on the beach at Omaha, I am the sucker went down in a submarine, I am the sucker who went down in the tanker ships
5:01 When I did take up arms for my country it was not for my country, it was for some New World Order that we were not even told about it

The first-person narrative provides insight into the mind of the CHUD.

Prognosis: Mr. Wetzner's irrational hatred of an enemy that doesn't exist, such as the cabal dreamed up in the much debunked Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion, points to the fact that he has a disturbed mind. This may be one of the reasons he was banned from YouTube. Also, C.H.U.D. Busters is pretty sure he was the old codger hosting the Pickle-Eating contest at Sturgis last year.

Profiles in Friendliness: Tough Girl 101

2008-08-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Tough Girl 101 espouses the virtues of C.H.U.D. Busters that was well worth the money we paid her to write the post. Thanks, Tough Girl 101!

Tim Robbins Iraq Flick Promises to Be Terrible

2008-08-04T22:23:00.000-07:00

Dirty Harry brings us news of an Iraq movie starring Tim Robbins entitled "The Lucky Ones":

This is the guy who once said "We've killed over 400,000 of their citizens". C.H.U.D. Busters has a feeling that this movie is going to totally suck ass.

The Netflix Guru

2008-08-04T19:53:00.000-07:00

Same Goes For CHUDs

Type: Dotsam and Netsam C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 5
Location of Outbreak: Netflix, Reviews (h/t Jacki)
Description (from Jacki): I was checking out military documentaries on Netflix and saw Frontline: Bad Voodoo's War. Being a long time fan of JP and I went to add it to my queue. I read the "reviews" and this one was charming:

Propoganda piece. Pure garbage that does nothing to show the other side of our troop presence... all of the rape, execution, terror and murder our troops commit regularly.

I guess one shouldn't expect much else from a guy whose name on Netflix is AntiNeoCon.

His other reviews are revealing:

The Peace! - Well done. Just too bad Americans won't wake up and inform themselves with facts like this. Unfortunately, facts are not a part of the American diet, nor are they offered to us in any meaningful way by the "mainstream media". Civic Duty - An interesting fictional portrayal of the irrational frenzy that people in our society go into as a result of government propoganda, fearmongering and indoctrination. Imagine, they were able to stir an entire country into a similar frenzy to build support for the Iraq war. In the Face of Evil: Reagan's War - Propoganda piece. Portrays the imperialist policies of Ronald reagan, including support of terrorists, death squads, etc. against innocent people who pose no harm to us as some sort of righteous cause. Letters from Iwo Jima - True, there is no moral equivalency between Japan and the Us during WWII. They attacked our military installation at Pearl Harbor without civilian targets... we firebombed Tokyo, and nuked Hiroshima and Nagasaki, disintegrating hundreds of thousands of TARGETED civilians Operation Enduring Freedom - Pure propoganda garbage. Skip it unless you want to see it for purposes of assessing the Bush propoganda campaign.

Prognosis: Despite spelling propaganda incorrectly on 5 separate occasions, Anti-NeoCon is well versed in the pathetic art of trolling. This ensures that honest-to-goodness Americans like Jacki can't rent a damn netflix movie or even go to a social networking site without being hassled by low-grade CHUDs. Clearly, people who want to rent the superb Bad Voodoo's War would be interested in military culture and supporting the troops. Therefore, the trolling CHUD will simply denigrate our servicemembers as a way to further their misanthropic ambitions and upset the common user. Like the popular girls at their high school, it is best to ignore these trolls as they spread their hate and discontent for not getting on the varsity Chess team. Thanks to Jacki for the tip and stay safe out there.

Blue Angels As Psychological Warfare Operatives

2008-08-03T22:22:00.001-07:00

Some See A Conspiracy in the lyrics of Highway to the Danger Zone

Type: Conspiracy C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 6
Location of Outbreak: Seattle P-I, Comments
Description of Attack: Seafair took place this weekend in Seattle, which showcases America's beloved Blue Angels amongst other fun-filled activities. The Seattle P-I advised the locals to not bother calling 911 due to the booming sounds of freedom, as some weenies usually whine about their cats getting scared. But it was all too expected that a C.H.U.D. would appear to accuse the Blue Angels of conducting PsyOps on the American populace. From Whatshername on this thread:

The "Blue Angels of Death" are precision-strike fighter killing machines and the aerobatics shows are military psychological war dressed up as breathtaking-eardrum shattering technical bravado to whip up patriotic support for u.s.global war-making and slaughtering.

The C.H.U.D. also links to this old Time article, which C.H.U.D. Busters hears connects the dots between a family outdoor event in WA state and every single war crime since Attila the Hun.

Prognosis: WhatsHerName is an all-too-familiar example of a Trotskyite troll. Instead of handing out terribly written pamphlets advocating revolution and getting booted out of Russia by Stalin, the modern Trotskyite pollutes the comments section of mainstream media outlets like Seattle P-I. This is evident by her comments on a Stabucks thread where she calls the management of Starbucks "imperialist-zionist gangsters". Clearly unaware that the Cold War ended about 20 years ago, expect WhatsHerName to continue her propaganda until she takes the proverbial revolutionary dirt nap.

Soldiers Murdering Their Pregnant Spouse is Pretty Much the Standard

2008-07-30T22:08:00.000-07:00

Type: Dotsam and Netsam CHUD
CHUDitude: 3
Location of Outbreak: Jezebel, comments (h/t Ms. K)
Description of Attack: The case of Megan Lynn Touma, who was murdered near Fort Bragg, has been a shocking tragedy. Often, people will take one event and try to proscribe a lesson about society in general. Despite not citing any evidence, a commenter at Jezebel, leaves a sweeping assertion about pregnant service members:

The military is a microcosm of middle class and poor life, because those are the groups most represented in the everyday military. As such, incidents such as these are not terribly shocking, given that the general trend is for pregnant women to be murdered by spouses/ex-spouses. It is highlighted only by the fact that there have been so many cases in one particular area, focusing attention on the problem. Let's hope the attention does some good before more pregnant soldiers meet their demise at the hands of colleagues.

Assuming "general" trend implies a majority, a pregnant woman in the military would have a higher chance of survival than if she played Russian roulette with 3 rounds in the chamber. C.H.U.D. Busters looked on the Google for evidence of most pregnant women getting killed while on active duty, but there was no such study. Is there a government cover-up involved?

Prognosis: People on the internet often assert statements that have no basis in facts or reality. These include comments about Lyndon Larouche being a great man, a secret cabal of Jews running the world, and that most people in the military are uneducated morons. This hyperbole is often used to prove some ideological point, but generally makes the commenter look more dumb than if they had just posted a few smiley faces or something. Lucky for us, Ms. Kiyum was on Jezebel refuting this CHUD attack. Be careful though, Ms. K, don't get dragged down into their lair.

Guilt By Association

2008-07-29T20:47:00.000-07:00

Ronald Gray = Bad Man

Type: Dotsam and Netsam CHUD
CHUDitude: 2
Location of Outbreak: SF Chronicle, Comments (h/t Mezzo SF)
Description of Attack: Ronald Gray was an Army cook who moonlighted as a serial killer at Fort Bragg back in the late 80s. His story has seen a resurgence in popularity because Bush chose to affirm his death sentence, which is rare in military justice. There has been little CHUD outbursts at the military as a whole, but MezzoSF found one lurking in the shadows in the comments section of the newspaper from her beloved city. Carverbrian writes in:

Unlucky for him, if he'd just had enough patience and self-control to wait until 2003, he could have raped and killed Iraqis to his heart's content. Probably would have gotten a medal, especially if he was an officer.

For the sake of accuracy, it should be noted that servicemembers (both officer and enlisted) can achieve the highest medals presented by the U.S. government without actually raping civilians.

Prognosis: The response to Gray's actions has been primarily directed at his horrendous deeds and not the service as a whole. The half-life of this story has been short, as the L.A. earthquake and Senator Stevens' shenanigans have sent it down the memory hole. For extra credit, you can read the odd Kos diary where the poster asserts that Bush is executing this man because he's black and wants to make Obama look bad, but it's very devoid of reasoning and not a CHUD attack per se. But good job to Mezzo for catching this one, as it shows how CHUD patterns can be unpredictable when there is seemingly little disturbance.

World Can't Wait and Their Quest for Relevance

2008-07-28T23:07:00.000-07:00

The proverbial folded Kinko's photocopy...can you feel teh revolushion? (pic from zombietime)

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: Berkeley, CA (captured on Zomblog)
Description of Attack: World Can't Wait is struggling for relevance in the post-communist era. They have tried slapping more exclamation points on their website, and they penned a CHUDeriffic Op-Ed in the Berkeley Daily Planet on "Why I Don't Support the Troops". Now, they've jumped on the Code Pink bandwagon to protest the Marine Recruiting Station in Berkeley. Zomblog has captured the above CHUD propaganda with Abu Ghraib imagery, which has become a modern Neverending Story, fueling CHUD attacks for 5 years now. While Abu Ghraib is a legitimate critique of the military, the crazy on the left (uh, Rockefeller conspiracies?) and the Rascal-bound lardass on the right show that this group isn't very interested in reason.

Prognosis: There has been recent efforts in mainstream political circles to ostracize the fringe CHUD element (see lengthy Salon article on the silliness of CHUD culture). This is because they are embarrassing, incompetent, trolls for the causes they supposedly endorse. The Summer of Love ended a long time ago, and stupid protest tactics aren't effective anymore.

The Onion parodies CHUDs on Madison Avenue

2008-07-28T23:02:00.000-07:00

Home Depot Honors Fallen Soldiers With Great Prices On Tools

Not real CHUDs, but pretty funny nonetheless.

Paratroopers in Afghanistan Are Failures

2008-07-23T22:06:00.000-07:00

Type: Dahmer CHUD
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: Enlightened Rogue Blog, Post
Description of Attack: The 9 troops recently killed in Afghanistan by the Taliban was both shocking and tragic. The paratroopers fought ferociously, but their names and the details weren't even released when a CHUD, lurking in the shadows of the blogworld, chose to taunt his fellow countrymen. Roger Young writes:

If these clowns are fighting for my freedom, as they and their supporters claim, this action is unacceptable. Now my freedom and security is at risk. Let me get this straight. If soldier boys fight and die they’re considered “heroes”, even though being killed would seem to indicate failure. After all, how can you successfully defeat your enemy when you are dead? So, what do you call them when they retreat and run? Cowards?

Roger blogs from the mean streets of Dallas, Texas. Therefore, that qualifies him as an expert on courage under fire from the Taliban. He also calls Vietnam Vets failures in his own classy way over at Crazy Lew's.

Is Roger Young the long-lost brother of shanked-in-prison child-murderer Dahmer? CHUD Busters says maybe!

Prognosis: Roger's consistent reference to Soldiers as "boys" when the military is clearly co-ed, indicates that there's some weird fetish going on with the men in uniform. His photography collection of a glistening young boy playing pee-wee football, boys entangled in a baseball game, and a picture of a deserted prairie to hide his NAMBLA-like crimes is incredibly frightening. Like Mr. Horton's Bike Shop from Different Strokes, it's best to steer clear of this CHUD unless you fancy being sodomized as a headless corpse...while being called a failure.

CHUDs Spit Radioactive Ooze All Over Iraq Vet!

2008-07-21T23:20:00.000-07:00

Type: CHUDs On Parade
CHUDitude: 11 (yes, these go to 11)
Location of Outbreak: UC-Santa Barbara Protest (h/t Skye)
Description of Attack: There has been significant debate about whether or not CHUDs actually spit on Vietnam Veterans. Well, CHUD Busters wasn't around in that era, but consider this video definitive proof that it has occurred in our current conflict. This was filmed by an Iraq vet from the UCSB Young Republicans (alternative LiveLeak viewing here):

The highlights of the CHUD attacks include:

2:25 - General Betrayus meme brought up
4:40 - Sexy CHUD in disguise yells "Go back to Iraq and fuckin' kill people you asshole"
5:42 - Crazy pony-tailed douchebag screams "Your military is raping women"
6:20 - Vet spit on with "Fuck your facsist state" by a Punky Brewster CHUD, laughter is heard in the background

Prognosis: A cynical person might say that the YouTube director in question was provoking these attacks through political methodology, but the video is evidence of a full-scale CHUD outbreak. The only question remains is how to deal with these CHUDs: either drag them off to the funny farm or just put them down before they hurt themselves or someone else.

One possible solution to our CHUD woes

CHUDs Trolling From Mom's Basement

2008-07-21T22:38:00.000-07:00

Type: Dotsam and Netsam CHUDs
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: OYE, Comments (h/t Wek)
Description of Attack: A Special Forces soldier, blinded by a mortar attack, but still proudly serving, would be a moving piece to most Americans, possibly symbolizing the epic struggle of mankind to persevere. Operation Yellow Elephant highlighted this courageous young man, but the CHUDs were still not impressed. Aaron Kinney chimes in:

You would think that after losing his sight that he would realize that the military is a meat grinder, and that it would ultimately destroy him. You would think that he would take this as a warning, or as a foreshadowing, and get out of the military/slaughterhouse... but no.

Oh well. Those who do not learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them.

And here we are, the taxpayers, paying a BLIND GUY to keep WATCH over our safety.

Hooray for government! Wheeeee!

I'm sure the paratroopers in the 82nd are wetting their britches at the harsh threats that Mr. Kinney is making from his anonymous residence in Los Angeles.

Prognosis: Aaron Kinney is a recurring troll who likes to spout ideologically inconceivable arguments about "radical libertarianism" and show erotic pictures of his cat. He, along with his CHUD partner Francois, have made similar threats to military members before. They once received the coveted title of "World Class Douche" at The Sniper, and responses to negate this honor were met with accusations that all service members were "faggots". A joint video they concocted on July 4th shows their commitment to America, and clearly it is filmed from the confine of their mother's basement.

Protest at Fort Bragg? Wait, It's Just Those Westboro Jackasses

2008-07-16T22:38:00.000-07:00

File Photo of The Westboro Church, Pretty Much All Their Protests Are of the Same Caliber

Type: CHUD Jesus
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: Fort Bragg, NC protest (h/t Ms. Kiyum)
Description of Attack: The controversial murder of SPC Touma in Fayetteville has sparked significant interest in the media, so a protest at the base could have been about any number of issues: PTSD, accountability of soldiers, women in the military, etc. As described by one local news outlet, there were "anti-military" protesters and counter-demonstrators consisting of Army wives. The "anti-military" moniker is a bit vague, and could not necessarily mean a CHUD outbreak. However, it turns out it was those fuckers from Westboro Church:

The Westboro group, sang the Marine hymn and held signs suggesting that Fort Bragg actively encourages homosexuality. Among the group was a boy, no more than 10 years old, holding a sign which reads “God Hates The USA.’’

Don't these people ever go away?

Prognosis: The list of things that the Westboro Church has protested to bring up the "God Hates Fags" meme has been long and tasteless. The Sago mine disaster, the Pope, Tim Russert's funeral, and many many others. Like the bumps on your genitalia that may or may not be herpes, it is best to ignore the festering sores on our society. However, it's pretty funny when they get Ric-Roll'd.

Code Pink Tries To Seduce The Counter-Demonstrators

2008-07-16T21:27:00.000-07:00

Beware, despite Jabba The CHUDs sexy looks, she is singing a Siren song

Type: CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 2
Location of Outbreak: Code Pink Blog, post entitled "Jeepers Creepers What To Make of Freepers"
Description of Attack: The Code Pink ladies initially unleashed the CHUD when they began trying to drive out the Marine recruiter in Berkeley. Since militiary recruiting is an essential component of the all-volunteer service, a CHUD attack on this process clearly signifies that Code Pink does not "Support the Troops". However, like the seductive sirens of ancient Greece, they are attempting to woo the likes of Rolling Thunder and The Sheepdogs over to their strange political ideology with this rambling blog post full of gramatically incorrect sentences and a whole lot of exclamation points & CAPS:

We ALL share a concern for the well-being of America's troops.
We ALL have a common desire to see America emerge victorious in the Global War on Terror (although we may differ on how best to achieve that victory).
We ALL recognize that the U.S. Congress, like so many other institutions in our country, has grown corrupt and is not functioning as it should.
We are ALL passionate in the belief that our activism is in the best tradition of American patriotism and vital to a healthy democracy... something toward which we ALL strive.

Like the psychotic woman who leaves you a text message every 15 minutes explaining why it's so great that she just washed her hair, the rationalization for their existence is relentless and painful. When the Code Pink blogger finally ends with a "Let's get Biz-ZAY", you find yourself praying that you have any heterosexuality left.

Prognosis: The Pinkers have long been a punching bag for bloggers, who see them as the most well-publicized caricature of the CHUD uprising. The fact that they are attempting to "reconcile" with their obvious opponents shows that they've lost a lot of public support and seen the stupidity of their shenanigans. However, it could also mean that they have planted a trojan horse and are waiting to lash out in a CHUD-like fury and devour the brains and flesh of their enemies. CHUD Busters advises all friendly forces to remain in a high state of vigilance.

William Arkin Just Can't Let Go Of The Past

2008-07-15T22:33:00.000-07:00

Mr. Arkin Takes A Break From His Hectic Lifestyle in Vermont To CHUD it Up

Type: Mr. Van Driessen CHUD
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: Washington Post, Planet War Forum (h/t This Ain't Hell)
Description of Attack: With Saddam's Regime completely dismantled, Al-Qaeda fleeing Mosul, and talk of the ability to significantly reduce combat coalition forces in Iraq, it can only be surmised that U.S. forces are fleeing Iraq like the Polish cavalry from the Nazi invaders. William Arkin postulates that the focus point of the election is how the presidential candidates attempt to preserve the faltering honor of our service members:

In fact both men are struggling with the same objective and reality: how to end the Iraq war favorably and without admitting defeat, and how to preserve the honor of the American military.

Despite Mr. Arkin's assertion that the U.S. military is in disgrace like the French at the Maginot Line, his CHUD attacks are much less severe and indirect than last year when he accused deployed soldiers of being self-centered ingrates.

Prognosis: New moments in history and the complexities in areas of conflict are difficult to analyze for CHUDs in the media that are already utilizing horribly outdated talking points. It's best to just recreate historical analogies for present events (like Nixonian withdrawal in Vietnam applied to Iraq as Jonn points out). Besides, getting laid was easier in those days, drugs and gas were cheaper, and William wasn't a balding, middle-aged bozo.

The Verdict On Generation Kill Is In

2008-07-14T22:21:00.000-07:00

C.H.U.D. Busters can't watch the HBO special...because that shit is extra. However, the verdict is in: No CHUD Outbreak!

For a counterpoint, Debbie Schlussel is flabbergasted that most Marines don't like Barry Manilow, which clearly indicates she has never met a Marine.

Why the Marines Don't Like Barry will remain a mystery for the ages

Exhaustive Research At Sacramento Bee Characterizes 0.018% of Military

2008-07-13T21:36:00.000-07:00

Beware! That Uniformed Youngster Could Be The Next Timothy McVeigh

Type: Power CHUD
CHUDitude: 5
Location of Outbreak: Sacramento Bee, Front Page (h/t McClatchy Watch)
Description of Attack: Every so often, CHUDs in position of power feel it necessary to conduct some "investigative journalism" on the few servicemembers who break the law. The New York Times tried this several months ago, and it was not well received. The Sacramento Bee is seeking a more political bent with their journalism, as the front page article negatively reflects on the military in Iraq by stating that low-life criminals have literally slapped a uniform on and dragged their ball and chain to the sandbox. However, the article erroneously states that the military doesn't investigate backgrounds extensively, but most servicemembers in Iraq require at least a Secret security clearance, and all members of our armed forces can attest to the painful process of filling out paperwork on your medical and personal background. To best describe the volume of paperwork one has to fill out regarding these matters, think of Marlon Brando in Apocalypse Now: "The Horror...The Horror".

Similar to how Fox News has managed to make every middle-aged male who drives a van a sex offender, the Sac Bee is attempting to instill fear within the general populous of our servicemembers. Unfortunately, their crack team was only able to analyze 250 "suspect soldiers", which represents a stunning 0.018% of the armed forces. Of course that was enough for CHUDs to leave drive-by comments like:

"Can we stop pretending that the military has the best and brightest....lets get real they had no other career option, so they have to kill for a living...yeah I know we have to treat them with kid gloves and lie to make them feel like their noble", and
"Hitler and Stalin's armies had convicted criminals as well! History repeats itself here too"

Bravo, Sacramento Bee! You are truly a messenger of influence.

Prognosis: Despite the author's prominent chin and southern gentleman-like qualities, things are not looking good for the newspaper biz, particularly McClatchy, who owns the Sacramento Bee. Their stock has tanked to less than 5 bucks a share, and the recent Gallup confidence poll shows a lousy 24% approval rating for newspapers. The numbers could be slightly improved, if they filed the CHUD Attacks under "G"...for garbage.

C.H.U.D. Advisory: rEVOLution March

2008-07-12T22:47:00.000-07:00

Can You Spot Jabba the CHUD? (from This Ain't Hell)

Type: CHUDs from the Ronulan Planet, CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: Washington DC, rEVOLution March
Description of Attack: There's nothing like a Ron Paul event to bring out teh crazy. Jonn Lilyea does a superb job capturing the activities in image, while the Western Standard informs us of your typical malcontent in attendance:

He's talking about the anti-Christ, and about dots being put on mail boxes. Red dot means the aliens are coming. Blue dot means cheese doodles. Pink dot means elephant graveyard. Actually, no, that's not what he said. Red dot means you're a resistor (or something), pink dot means the government can work with you, and blue dot... whatever.

Sounds like the Uncle your parents warned you to stay away from at the family reunion. Anyhoo, Naomi Klein graced the crowd with her C.H.U.D. presence. She is known for inciting mutiny within the ranks of our proud service members, stating that the military is a bunch of low-class imbeciles, and that 9/11 was an inside job. She spoke at the Paulbot festival, and James Edwards was there to talk about the "patriots" marching against the neo-cons, along with the fact that it was a "mighty whitey" parade in his words (Edwards is bit of a creepy white supremacist). Man, it's a shame C.H.U.D. Busters is located in the Northwest and not in D.C.

Prognosis: Free speech is a inalienable natural right in our modern world, but it can degenerate into a frightening reality as CHUDs congregate upon our very seat of power in DC. Wonkette and This Ain't Hell braved the rEVOLution march to capture the horrors of the C.H.U.D., but sometimes it is necessary to adopt the Homer Simpson approach in the Mr. Plow episode and just clear all the riff raff out of the way.

Call Mr. Plow, That's My Name, That Name Again is Mr. Plow

A Brief Chit-Chat with Floyd Gondolli, a C.H.U.D.

2008-07-10T23:23:00.000-07:00

Talking is Important To Better Understand Our CHUD Counterparts

Type: C.H.U.D. from the Ronulan Planet
CHUDitude: 4
Location of Outbreak: LT Nixon Rants, comments
Description of Attack: While penning a post on the negative image that can sometimes affect our political third-parties, LT Nixon erroneously attributed the piece "Ron Paul as Prophet" to Lew Rockwell, when it was actually Mark Sunwall writing at LewRockwell.com. Sorry, for the mix-up, Lew! Floyd Gondolli writes in:

Grow up. You aren't qualified to carry Lew's jock. I'm willing to give you a pass on lack of creativity and original thought because of your chosen profession, but please, if you're going to criticize original thinkers like Rockwell, back it up with some substance. Failing that, you only expose yourself as the mental midget your blog shows you to be. I eagerly await your name calling, simple-minded response. Take your time scrolling through your rolodex of insults - I need a good laugh.

Floyd, FYI, Lew only has time to promote CHUD-like aberrations, such as guest posts about God being angry at the troops and the not-so-subtle article "Don't Support The Troops". Lew has much more important matters to attend to, such as becoming visibly outraged that Wal-Mart discontinued their line of Maurice's BBQ Sauce becuase it was "pro-Confederate".

Prognosis: Mr. Floyd Gondolli has directed his anger at people disrespecting Lew Rockwell before. This is the second time he has talked about Lew's jockstrap to LT Nixon, and the fact that his handle is borrowed from the old pervert producer in Boogie Nights seems a bit too creepy to be coincidental. Floyd is mostly likely a hold-over from the Paulmania that took place earlier this year, and is seeking retribution against perceived enemies for sinking the campaign. Consider the CHUD threat low, unless Floyd launches the blimp to take down CHUD Busters along with the Bilderberg conspiracy.

Oh The Irony! CHUD Calling for Nuremberg Trials Actually a Neo-Nazi

2008-07-09T21:55:00.000-07:00

CHUDs Spreadin' The Hate

Type: White Pride C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: Amazon Book Reviews, Bugliosi "The Prosecution of G.W. Bush For Murder"
Description of Attack: The new book from Vincent Bugliosi about prosecuting President Bush for war crimes has been making the rounds in blogland. C.H.U.D. Busters isn't very interested in the treatment and public perception of politicians, but our search for any lurking CHUDs begins in the comments from Amazon book reviewers of this new work of non-fiction. There are a multitude of comments dissatisfied with our current Presidential administration, but only one C.H.U.D. in the bunch that seeks to actually put the military on war crimes trial, as the CHUD advocates for the hanging of General Petraeus in a Nuremberg-style trial not seen since the fall of Nazi Germany. This goes beyond the normal discontent with the military and advocates execution of our military leaders in public square like some goofy third-world dictatorship.

Ironically, the reviewer, known only with the cryptic handle A Reader, seems a bit compelled to post other Amazon reviews that suggest he is a man of strong virtue and integrity. Some examples include how the Holocaust never existed, a lukewarm review of Mein Kampf, and calling the supremacist bible White Power "very thought provoking and prophetic".

C.H.U.D. Busters can't make this shit up.

Prognosis: The depth of this CHUDs Amazon reviews suggest that he truly believes in his ideology of advocating violence against a wide swath of contemporary American society. Like the mutants from The Hills Have Eyes, these CHUDs embody the fear that young successful urbanites often possess of rural citizens. "A Reader" is most likely posting these comments from a cabin in southern Utah while masturbating onto the severed head of his mother. His strange obsession with the schlocky band Yes further adds to the creepiness of this CHUD.

SDS Attack Recruiting Station With Disco-Style Theatrics

2008-07-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

CHUD Droppings Left At DC Recruiting Station

Type: Trust Fund CHUDs / CHUDs on Parade
CHUDitude: 9
Location of Outbreak: DC Protest on 20 Feb, boastfully publicized in new SDS Newsletter (page 8 of PDF)
Description of Attack: Way back when in February, CHUDs from the Students for a Democratic Society used the clever catch phrase "Funk the War" to trash a DC recruiting station. Obviously, many commentators in the blogosphere not fond of CHUD weren't "Feeling Da Funk" and chastised them for the twerp vandals that they were. The SDS has retailated by publishing a sleek PDF newsletter that promotes "real girl love" rather than "girl hate", shutting down the RNC by utilizing a color-coded "zone system" to organize vandalism, and the employment of Disco in their CHUD-like tactics:

The first Funk theWar started with 30 people, an unmixed mash of music, and a march that weaved around DC's downtown business district blocking traffic. The second swelled to 100 high school students, a DJ, a spontaneous occupation of Lockheed Martin, the dismantling of all the posters and furniture on the inside of a recruiting station, and thewallpapering of the recruiting station, DC republican party headquarters, and war profiteer's offices with stickers.

Their parents must be so proud.

Prognosis: The modern SDS gleefully enjoys living on the coattails of the former terrorist group, which was an offshoot of the original SDS, and the horrendous musical stylings of late-70s music. But even then, they are hypocrites, since the disco icons, The Village People, starred both a guy who liked to dress like a cop, and another dude who always dressed in military duds, indicating disco inherently supported our servicemembers.

The SDS has promised to protest the upcoming DNC in August, and conventioneers should bring proper protection, as the CHUD threat is considered extremely high.

CHUD Cornered On YouTube

2008-07-07T23:04:00.000-07:00

Type: Dotsam and Netsam CHUD
CHUDitude: 5
Location of Outbreak: Youtube, Staten Island Madman's Video Comments
Description of Attack: The self-proclaimed Staten Island Madman, aka Mr. Hotshit 1960, has a video up dating from late 2006 expressing his modest dissatisfaction with the "Fuck the Troops" Myspace group.

Proud American!

In true New Yorker form, he states "You don't back the troops, go fuck yourself, get the fuck outta heeeeere...you little prick bastards". Obviously, this outspoken support of our service members has left him open to some low-level e-CHUD attacks from barely literate Youtube commenters. Sleepy2k16 writes:

a soldier is a sucker, a moron, a dumb animal, a killer, a fool, an idiot. Your stupid. MILITARY MEN ARE A BUNCH OF DUMB ANIMALS, MEANINGLESS PAWNS To be used for profits in foriegn policy

A quick perusal of Mr. Sleepy2k16's YouTube page shows a bunch of creepy 9/11 conspiracy videos in his faves, a lone bulletin who argues that "all we need is love" to solve the world's problems, and a massive anti-CHUD reaction force in the comments section.

You are a disgusting excuse for a human being. GET THE FU*K OUT OF AMERICA WE DO NOT WANT YOU HERE. I would LOVE to boot kick your ass from Maine to the Mexican border. You ANTI-American SCUMBAG!!! GET THE FU*K OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and

your a funking dumb ass, I don't know how you can be so dumb, saying that shit about the USMC, those are brave people defending you and you disrespect them? there fucking dieing and your making fun of them?? I just hope someone kicks your ass and kills you for what you wrote...

There are many of these. Apparently, SLEEPy2k16 didn't join Youtube to make a lot of friends and influence people.

Prognosis: Dotsam and Netsam CHUDs are frequently "pwned" by anti-CHUD forces in the exact same comments threads where they first appear. Like wrangling a rabid dog that has bitten their crotch, those that retaliate can often appear clumsy and use foul language as they throw off the offending CHUD. However, it is often best to take the high road during a CHUD encounter free of emotion and contact, as the CHUD's own appearance is evidence enough that he/she is an ugly offshoot of our modern society.

Rachel Maddow: Smart, Articulate, Progressive, and a CHUD?

2008-07-07T20:18:00.001-07:00

Beneath That Friendly Smile Lurks A CHUD Waiting To Strike

Type: PundiCHUD
CHUDitude: 1
Location of Outbreak: MSNBC Countdown, 7/7/08
Description of Attack: Rachel Maddow is a rising star in the progressive punditocracy. The 35 year-old Rhodes Scholar has a glowing review of her at Alternet that states "keeps a punishing schedule that begins at 9 a.m." Wow, 9am! She champions many politically correct causes and the netroots are absolutely gaga over her. But beneath her sharp wit and intelligence, with which she hosts MSNBC's Countdown, she slipped in a CHUD comment seemingly unnoticed while discussing McCain's plan for the economy. At 4:00 in the clip:

Maddow: He's going to cut taxes for the rich, cut taxes on the corporations they own...balance the budget in 4 years...and pay for it all with the pot of gold you get after reaching the highest level in the Iraq and Afghanistan video game. (smug laughter is heard in the background)

Just to be clear to our C.H.U.D. Buster readers, this is the highest level in Contra (a classic NES videogame)

This is a picture of ISAF troops in Kandahar province (it's not a video game)

Prognosis: It is highly unlikely that a PundiCHUD would ever voice their disapproval of the military in a direct fashion on national television. However, the use of downplaying the significance of two wars could have disastrous consequences for our servicemembers down the road. After years of making serving your country look like a big joke, easily-influenced members of congress might side with funding "The Road to Nowhere" as opposed to VA benefits in a tight fiscal year. Maddow's comments were probably a gaffe, and I'm sure she meant no harm to the troops. But, sadly, the damage has already been done, and the American public grows further disconnected with the ongoing conflicts of our nation. This type of foolish language could be alleviated if we got some vet pundits on the cable talk shows for an issue that has a media shelf-life longer than 3 minutes, for God's sakes.

Real World CHUD Hunters...in Hollywood!

2008-07-07T17:37:00.000-07:00

No Swag Bags Required To Respect This Man!

Above is Lt. Col. Breasseale, who's job is to read through Hollywood scripts and determine if the Army is willing to spend money on helping out the motion picture company with technical assistance and access to DoD areas (h/t GI Kate). However, Mr. Breasseale is not too happy with the way in which some Hollywood directors use their CHUD-like influence when making movies:

Breasseale is particularly critical of Brian De Palma's "Redacted," a film released last year and based on a real-life incident in which U.S. soldiers raped an Iraqi girl, then murdered her and her family. Breasseale, who was serving in Iraq at the time of the incident, says De Palma's movie intimates that all soldiers serving in Iraq are criminals.

Yes, sir. C.H.U.D. Busters agrees that Redacted was a cinematic CHUD monstrosity. Of course, assuming that entertainment industry is engaged in a diabolical conspiracy to actually make a profit, some basic historic precedents in film would have helped Brian De Palma in production:

Saving Private Ryan, which positively portrayed American Servicemembers, grossed $216,540,909 in America and won 5 academy awards.

Redacted, which negatively portrayed American servicemembers, grossed an embarrassing $65,388, was the target of a massive boycott, and is now being sold in the $3.99 dump bin at Wal-Mart.

You'd think it was rocket science to some of these Hollywood types.

The Adolescent LiveLeak Bullies

2008-07-07T17:01:00.000-07:00

Type: Dotsam and Netsam CHUDs
CHUDitude: 5
Location of Outbreak: LiveLeak, Greyhawk's Milblog Channel
Description of Attack: Greyhawk has tossed out a morsel of CHUD-bait onto LiveLeak and had some of the pubescent sewer-dwellers come to the surface to voice their discontent about our military. ZenGaardens opines:

Scumbags who try to link the so-called "war on terror" to Iraq are the sheep who've bought into the neocon agenda. I pity you, but at the same time you're beneath my contempt.

KossAmerica writes rather eloquently:

FUKK AMERICAN JEW IDOLETARIAN SHIT WHO HAVE KILLED MILLIONS INNOCENT ARABS AND AFGHANS GOD DAMN AMERICAN AND AMERICA

And AndyBlue from Seattle chimes in:

well they signed up.... they deserve whatever comes their way....as the American economy goes down the drain as a direct result of their actions. Have fun. Dont complain or cry PTSD...You re-uped yourselves.

Along with having this avatar of a pooch that just screams "Help, my owner is a big douchebag", AndyBlue's opinions are frequently unwelcome at LiveLeak as evidenced by the massive amount of "thumbs down" troll ratings he receives. AndyBlue is fond of deviously using the term "Republiturd" in his comments, which is a clever pun on the word "Republican" (a conservative-leaning political party in America) and "Turd" (slang for feces).

Prognosis: LiveLeak is an excellent source for viewing provocative and silly video uploads such as obese mothers holding up a convenience store at gunpoint, ATV accidents, and hecklers attacking the President. However, just like the all-night porn shop off the interstate in Alabama, the goods may be enticing, but the clientele is probably low-class. This explains the high number of grammatically incorrect comments as well as the use of typing in all caps. As Greyhawk puts it, "These are low-level e-chud, likely pre-teen basement dwellers who's moms are out for the evening, and hardly worth a response." Consider this CHUD outbreak low-level.

Breaking The Glass Ceiling in an Evil Profession

2008-07-06T22:52:00.000-07:00

Type: Wicked CHUDs of the West
CHUDitude: 2
Location of Outbreak: Jezebel, comments
Description of Attack: C.H.U.D. Busters salutes Lt. Gen. Dunwoody who has been nominated to be the first female four-star in U.S. Army history. The U.S. military has been a bit slow on the gender equality front, so naturally, Jezebel, the snarky "blog for women", would voice strong approval for this "herstoric" moment. Despite wide-spread enthusiasm in the female blogging community, one commenter, nellicat, just did not see it that way:

I know I'm being a bad feminist, but I just can't get excited about women making it to the top of the military. It kind of strikes me the same way gay republicans strike me - why on earth would you want to be associated with that?

A quick jaunt over to HuffPo suggests that some members of the blogging community just aren't very ecstatic about this triumph for women's rights either as Mexamerican puts it simply:

what a proud day for women: now they can be in charge of murder too!

Prognosis: Like Dorothy successfully braving the Land of Oz, some witch-like CHUDs just can't accept the achievements of other members of their gender without sending a bunch of flying monkeys after them. Despite the many accomplishments by women in our recent conflicts of this decade, the military remains too politically incorrect to be celebrated for certain CHUDs. These CHUDs prefer women to "break the glass ceiling" in "acceptable" careers like corrupt politician, professional dancer that perjures herself, and fetus-butcher.

The Anonymous Tough Guys on Campus

2008-07-06T16:31:00.000-07:00

Type: Frat-Boy CHUD
CHUDitude: 3
Location of Outbreak: Juicy Campus, University of Florida "Overheard on Campus" Section
Description of Attack: Juicy Campus is an anonymous, collegiate rumor mill that represents the absolute dregs of the internet. The site maintains strict anonymity and C.H.U.D. Busters is unable to provide specific links to the javascript, but it is generally along the lines of outrageous gossip about which T.A. likes to bone on campus. However, typing "ROTC" into the search string, one posted rumor stands out from the University of Florida:

id you guys see that student who spat in some soldier's face while walking to class yesterday near Turlington It was seriously the most disrespectful thing I have ever seen, especially to someone who is serving our country. I was right there when it happened, and the soldier (I think he was ROTC or something because he was carrying a skateboard) was minding his own business and a random guy walked up to him, spat in his face, and told him to go die in Iraq.
This rumor seems a tad dubious, as those in uniform are not authorized to skateboard to and fro on campus. However, one of the replies represents a low-level C.H.U.D. attack:

No real soldier, sailor, or Marine would have taken that shit. If it was a Marine chances are he would have beaten the kid with the kids own books. The cadet (soldier) is a pussy for not doing anything about it. Kinda disgraceful that he didnt beat the shit out of him.

Yes, Chet, I'm sure if you were in uniform you would've already stomped that guy's ass, chopped off Osama Bin Laden's balls in Pakistan, and been back for the foam party with the Delta Phi chicks.

Prognosis: Mr. Anonymous cannot accept the fact that he is not the most "manly" on campus and must leave CHUD-like comments on the internet to confirm his alpha dog status. By humiliating those students in uniform, he engages in tribal like retribution to ensure that his frat house retains the "tough guy" status. Folks like him also tend to hypothesize Baron Munchhausen-style tales of bravery on the battlefield "If only there was a real war on" or "If they were in Iraq" instead of manning the keg at the rush party. These CHUDs on campus are a small sliver of the collegiate population and their attacks are very limited. Consider this CHUD outbreak contained.

To Heck With The Nuances, "Fuck The Troops!"

2008-07-06T15:25:00.000-07:00

Type: Trust Fund CHUD
CHUDitude: 10!
Location of Outbreak: Revolutionary Anti-Imperialist Movement Denver, the entire blog (file this under "trouble ahead")
Description of Attack: What better way to rail against "the establishment" than denigrating our beloved troops. Despite the fact that many soldiers currently in Iraq hadn't gone through puberty when the decision to invade was made, our troops remain targeted as symbolic of everything wrong with "imperiali$t AmeriKKKa". From the RAIM Denver, there are no semantics, no hidden agendas, just a simple "Why we Say...Fuck The Troops!":

Watch this cracker whine that he isn’t allowed to murder Iraqi kids for throwing rocks at his pig ass. Listen carefully for the kid shouting “fuck you!” We are proud of you little RAIMer, keep it up!

Prognosis: Young, impressionable college students often fall victim to corrupted ideology once they leave the confines of their upper middle-class existence for higher education. Sadly, they mutate into CHUDs after reading a couple of Chomsky books and realizing that the world is not all lollipops and sunshine from a liberally-minded professor who once saw pictures of poor working conditions in Indonesia. They then find it necessary to overcompensate for their fortunate upbringing by posting obscenities in cyberspace like "American Flag BBQ" and why "Rev. Wright is Right about AmeriKKKa". Equating "revolutionary ideals" with being cool on the Trotskyite scene, young minds continue their descent into political violence. Most youngsters "grow up" when they have to work honest jobs, but these trust fund types have the ability to remain in school well beyond the 4 years for most undergrads, with a near infinite budget to wreak havoc on our society. They fail to see the irony of chastising our hard-working troops busting their humps in places like Iraq and Afghanistan, who are approximately the same age. Under the "Recreate 68!" tag on this blog, these troublemakin' CHUDs celebrate the destruction of a police vehicle at Evergreen College. The upcoming DNC Protests in August, entitled "Recreate 68!", has the potential to intimidate Democrat conventioners with political violence like some third-world dictatorship. Consider this CHUD outbreak as getting worse in Denver with the potential for violent CHUD attacks on damn near everything and everybody that isn't sporting a Che sticker.

Flashback: Celebrate Independence Day By Killing Your Commanding Officer

2008-07-06T14:43:00.000-07:00

Watch out, General P! (from Zombietime)

Type: A Parade C.H.U.D.
CHUDitude: 8
Location of Outbreak: SF Art Gallery, Tenderloin District on July 4th, 2007
Description of Attack: Sometimes anti-Americanism can become so unhinged and ludicrous that protesting CHUDs will openly offer support to notorious thugs like FARC, Che Guevara, and murderous foreign militants in Iraq. This is often to the embarrassment of more moderate factions which seek to criticize U.S. policy in a rational manner. Zombietime has been chronicling the absurdity of these theatrics in the Bay Area for years. Last year, zombietime visited the Propaganda III Art Show in San Francisco and found the gem above.

Prognosis: Fragging was the practice of killing your superior in Vietnam, which was exploited by the media to highlight massive morale problems with the draft. Obviously, the U.S. military is all-volunteer now, and there has only been one reported incident of fragging for the entire duration of the Iraq conflict (well, two if you count that time in Kuwait). This CHUDs pathetic attempt to incite "social upheaval through art" fails to take into account that Army morale is not THAT bad, communist ideology collapsed 20 years ago, and showing this offensive garbage anywhere else than San Francisco would have gotten him punched in the face. Consider this CHUD's propaganda efforts contained to the Bay Area.

A Desperate Cry For Attention in Seattle

2008-07-05T17:28:00.000-07:00

Type: Frat-Boy CHUD
CHUDitude: 9
Location of Outbreak: Seattle's The Stranger, "I, Anonymous" Forum
Description of Attack: Seattle's "Only Newspaper" The Stranger, hosts an uncensored forum where urban hipsters can scribble ridiculous rants about daily life in the Emerald City. If your sense of humor is low brow enough, you'll find forum topics like "Letters to my Abortions" and "Fuck You, Short People" to be good for a chuckle or two. Unfortunately, a downfall of this crass environment is that servicemembers are left open to CHUD attacks from anonymous keyboardists. In a not-so-subtle forum topic from March, entitled "Fuck the Troops", Ecce Homo writes:

Fuck these inbred ignorant high school dropout loser schmucks. Fuck em with a big hot poker then chop their dicks off. They ain't hero's, they are pigs who deserve to get blown up and killed. I hope the war goes on for a hundred years, that way, there will be less of these pigs on the streets of our country.

Clearly Mr. Homo's comments are as silly as they are offensive, yet the forum topic goes on for a lengthy 10 pages with people trying to rationalize why the troops are not pigs who deserve to get blown up and killed.

Prognosis: Mr. Homo is clearly writing this troll-like forum topic, because he desperately seeks attention (either negative or positive) from his fellow Seattle cyber-denizens. His signature script reads "The BEST thing about Pony is that it kept the faggots out of Pioneer Square", which clearly is designed to further offend most of Seattle's progressive population. Ecce Homo is analagous to the frat-boy at the rush party, who unabashedly grabs a young woman's ass to get the attention of other woman at the party. Many women will attempt to rationalize this irrartional, brutish action with things like "Why would he do that?" or "Why didn't he grab my butt, am I fat?". Instead, this obnoxious frat-boy should have just been kicked in the balls. Ecce Homo is peacocking his CHUD like traits, and it is best to ignore him until he crawls back into the sewer.

Because July 4th is a Great Time To Hate America

2008-07-05T15:30:00.000-07:00

Careful, He's radioactive!

Type: The Mr. Van Driessen CHUD
CHUDitude: 7
Location of Outbreak: Progressive Magazine, Headline Article "Why I'm Not Patriotic"
Description of Attack: Madison's Progressive Magazine is like most run-of-the-mill socialist rags. It complains about how Obama is going to far to the center, it makes horrendously inaccurate predictions for Iraq, and it glorifies god-awful wuss musicians that "have a message". But, once in awhile, the coffee shops get shut down for a holiday and their inability to get their morning mocha latte sends them into a full-scale CHUD frenzy! The editor, Matthew Rothschild, talks about how horrible it is to live in our neo-colonialist empire on the 4th of July:

He has stripped patriotism to its vacuous essence: Love your country because it’s yours. If we stopped that arm from reflexively saluting and concerned ourselves more with “universal ideals” than with parochial ones, we’d be a lot better off. We wouldn’t be in Iraq, we wouldn’t have besmirched ourselves at Guantanamo, we wouldn’t be acting like some Argentinean junta that wages illegal wars and tortures people and disappears them into secret dungeons.

Ah yes, the pillars of military service in America: honor, courage, and orchestrating a coup in Buenos Aires. Mr. Rothschild, you are one sharp cookie!

Prognosis: Looking at Mr. Rothschild, one would assume he's a bit of a wuss that only gets upset when someone's pick-up truck blocks the bike lane. But, beware! These CHUDs pollute the minds of our impressionable youth in the lecture halls and streets of our public universities (like the University of Wisconsin at Madison). It's no secret that these embarrassing leftover CHUDs from the 60s don't like the military very much, and they will slip in commentary bashing our troops as long as they feel safe from reprisal (often in the form of "Fuck you, hippie" from the hard-working townsfolk). Any criticism toward their ilk will be construed as "death threats" from "right-wing hatemongers"as Mr. Rothschild points out today, or a possible Karl Rove conspiracy. So, tread lightly when observing this CHUD, my friends.

The Perks Of Hunting C.H.U.D.

2008-07-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

Huntin' CHUD can be a dangerous way to peruse cyberspace, but the benefits are well worth your troubles. For notifying C.H.U.D. Busters of a sighting, you will get:

This spiffy button to put on your blog or show off at parties!
Blogrolled on the C.H.U.D. Buster Consortium List found on the sidebar to your right with a link of your choosing (no link requested will provide a default link to Soldiers' Angels)
The satisfaction of providing a unique way to support our troops!

All notifications should be sent to LTNixonRants (at) Gmail (dot) com with "I Got Me a Chud" in the subject line. Please provide appropriate links and how you know this is a confirmed CHUD sighting.

Interested in guest blogging? Please contact LTNixon via email.

The most important benefits are of course that the American public doesn't let this happen to our veterans.

Cheers! And stay safe out there.

Try Not to Drool All Over Yourself, Marine

2008-07-05T14:13:00.000-07:00

Type: Zeitgeist Chud
CHUDitude: 2
Location of Outbreak: HBO Films, Comments Board
Description of Attack: The HBO miniseries "Generation Kill" premieres in about a week, and there has been a heavy marketing blitz found plastered across the politically-themed blogosphere. The miniseries is based on the Evan Wright book and promises to portray the initial invasion of Iraq from the perspective of a bunch of knuckleheaded, confused, and juvenile Marines. Since C.H.U.D. Busters will be unable to watch this miniseries (who are we? The Vatican? HBO costs extra), a quick look at the HBO comments board should shed some light on the target demographic.

One Marine, Recon2506, left a comment, fearing the entertainment industry would try to misportray our beloved Marine Corps: Folks there are a number of former members of the 1st Recon Bn that will be watching. We are suspicious of the intentions of the entertainment industry.

But another commenter, SonnyBlackBDSM, looks forward to the chance to chuckle at the perceived underclass of military servants from his art studio in Los Angeles:

However uncomfortable it may be to watch a portrayal of how confused our leaders and soldiers can be during war time, I always enjoy the reminder of our right to act it out, show it, and expose it. Just as it's "American" to be a jackass while in other countries, it's American to make fun of it (us)....and make money from it. I'm sure Generation Kill will do well.

Prognosis: Sonny Black does not appear to engage in hostile intent towards our servicemembers, but just like the rich housewife who thinks the Hispanic maid will steal all her jewelry, he appears to harbor foolish stereotypes about our most disciplined branch of the service. This is likely due to the fact that the military is portrayed as drug addicts, cold-blooded mercenaries, and bumbling rubes in Hollywood. The relatively small number of veterans (compared to WWII, Vietnam) within mainstream culture further complicates the problem. Sonny's home website shows that he is an artist specializing in the production of bondage gear in Los Angeles, often with scantily-clad vixens locked in cages. Indeed, Sonny, it is great that in America, you can make a living being a "jackass".

Mainstream Libertarians Get Attacked by C.H.U.D.

2008-07-04T23:51:00.000-07:00

Type: CHUD from the Ronulan Planet
Chuditude: 6
Location of Outbreak: Libertarian-Republican blog, comments
Description of Attack: Eric Dondero runs the Libertarian-Republican blog and is an avid troop supporter. There are various camps within the libertarian demographic, some more extreme than others, and Eric's decision to stay moderate on many issues, like foreign policy, leaves him ripe for attacks from CHUDs on the comments portion of his blog.

Recently, Mr. Dondero sent a zinger at Lew Rockwell, who penned a silly piece lambasting McCain for using the term "gooks". This is the same Lew Rockwell who called MLK a pederast and warned of the "coming race war" in the 90s. Because these racist newsletters had Ron Paul's name on it and was exposed by The New Republic, it killed Dr. Paul's campaign. Lew is probably the last person in the blogosphere to be allowed to accuse anyone of racsism.

Yet a CHUD named Speculor has come to the defense of Lew Rockwell and Ron Paul with a bizarre rant about the anti-semitism of our troops:

And what about all the special interest groups that gave money to McCain, like the military industrial complex, some of whom profit from the soldiers killing people in Iraq for oil on order (not only naming them names).

Andrew: Are you familiar with Bill White, leader of the national-socialist party in the US, that hates Paul. Are you aware that some neonazis have joined the US military in order to get combat training in Iraq, love killing "non-white" Iraqi's and spraying Nazi symbols in Baghdad? Could Charles Manson be running amok in Baghdad, killing civilians and spraypainting swastikas willy-nilly in the homes of Baghdad citizens as Speculor suggests? Uh, no.

Prognosis: Speculor is flying off the handle with strange, unfounded accusations about neo-nazis in the ranks of our troops in a lame attempt to denigrate the McCain campaign by proxy (since McCain was once in the military). Speculor is most likely to become equally unhinged whenever someone discusses building 7, doesn't understand the CFR-Bilderberg-Trilateral Comission-UFO-Liberal Media connection, or whenever his mother confiscates his Boba Fett figurines for spending too much time on the computer. Consider this C.H.U.D. outbreak a low-level threat and contained.

C.H.U.D. Huntin'

2008-07-04T01:29:00.000-07:00

CHUDs have been spotted in various corners of the political blogosphere for quite some time. While many CHUDs linger in the comments on left-wing themed blogs, there have many reports of bloggers being attacked from right-wing sites such as Lew Rockwell or any other site where people think Ron Paul should be president. Some other places where they have been popping up are Youtube comments, Liveleak comments, MySpace, and Facebook. Remember, that CHUDs are only Americans, but we may try international CHUD hunting in the future. Any information on CHUD sightings can be promptly reported to this blog at ltnixonrants(at)gmail(dot)com.

Some basic tools are required for C.H.U.D. hunting

1 Hazmat suit

1 computer (desktop or laptop, your choice)

The willingness to go into the dark sewer regions of the internet

Be careful out there, brothers and sisters. Good Luck and Stay safe!

Definition of a C.H.U.D.

2008-07-04T01:06:00.001-07:00

A CHUD is a charecterization loosely based on the 80s horror movie where mutated humans lived in the sewer and would come to the surface to feast on their prey, which was us normal humans. For our purposes, a CHUD can be defined as an irrational citizen making threats or allegations against our fellow servicemembers on either the internet, at anti-war protests, in the media, or even in Washington D.C. It's best to keep your eyes open when you are hunting CHUDs, because they can lurk in the comments section of a blog...and they may go unseen.

Some traits of the CHUD:

referring to our troops as babykillers, warmongers, idiots, etc.
protests of recruiting stations or protests openly supporting our enemies that target our troops
newspaper articles deriding military culture as rapists or mongoloids
ridiculous accusations about U.S. troops killing civilians in Iraq/Afghanistan
saying that people in the military deserve to be killed/wounded because they signed up for it
declaring our military leadership as traitorous with unfounded facts

Some examples of people that aren't necessarily CHUDs:

getting angry with political veterans for their politics (e.g. not liking McCain, even though he is a vet)
becoming angry about crimes committed in the war zone (e.g. Abu Ghraib)
not agreeing with the Iraq/Afghanistan war
getting angry with a milblogger for reasons not necessarily related to being in the military (e.g. LT Nixon, you are a perv)

But, beware! Sometimes these internet denizens could be hiding their true CHUD identity. A few nested comments or two could make them doff their polite blogosphere personna, and unleash a raging fury of CHUD! So be careful out there.

Our Mission

2008-07-04T00:36:00.001-07:00

The brief period of patriotism and unwavering support for our country's military following 9/11 has tapered off slightly, but most Americans are generally respectful of our service members. We are taught to not simply "expect" the public's admiration, but I would say that the military's relation with the public is quite healthy. I have worn a uniform since 2002 and have never been ridiculed for my service in person. However, beneath this pristine and sanitized surface of mainstream culture, there dwells an abominable beast in the sewer that seeks to scorn our military for a variety of personal and political purposes...the CHUD!

While I served my year in Iraq, I was astonished to see my fellow Americans make a mockery of us on cyberspace and in the streets. Code Pink protesting the Marine Recruiting Station in Berkeley, blog commenters ecstatic to see a murderous thug like Muqtada al-Sadr launching attacks on our forces, wild accusations of atrocities against civilians, disabled veterans being referred to as "damaged goods", likening our mission to the Imperial stormtroopers, and a NYC recruiting station that got blown up. The list goes on and on.

Since our disabled veterans will require the public's support for a long time, and learning from the lesson of how poorly our Vietnam veterans were treated, our mission is to take a non-partisan approach in hunting down those who choose to denigrate our troops and exposing them for the yahoos that they are. By keeping CHUDs in the sewer where they belong, we can ensure a prosperous future for those that served during a time of war.

Let the CHUD-Bustin' begin!